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took his time. He confessed his love for me. ‘I can’t help it, Bambi; I’ve felt like this ever since we met years ago. I hope you understand. The timing was never right. Maybe it still isn’t, I don’t know. But, this is right now, very right.’
    â€œI was so shocked. Sid didn’t use protection and I wasn’t on the pill. Still, I couldn’t believe I conceived. The amazing thing was that Sid and I were thrilled when we learned I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe I was having a baby. After all these years; I was almost 40. And, Sid was in his late 40’s. Yet, it was magical. We were so happy. He helped me so much! He wanted to get married, immediately. I said no because I didn’t know him that well and, well, I knew he had other women. I give him credit. He was persistent. He didn’t want Tawny to be a bastard. Right after Tawny was born, while I was in bed in the hospital, he proposed again and I said yes.
    â€œSid showered me with gifts. He gave me the three bedroom condo in Chatsworth. He paid for my mother to relocate from South Carolina to be with Tawny when I worked.”
    I said, “You went back to dancing at Modern Girls.”
    â€œYes, Sid didn’t want me to. I knew he hadn’t told anybody about me and Tawny. I told him we were his big secret. He was committed to us, but he was still seeing other women. I wouldn’t wear my engagement ring on my finger.
    â€œStevie, I know it’s weird, but I was in love. Sid treated me nicely. He also paid for big things, like my body work – but he was the one that wanted me to do it. I got nicer-looking breast implants. He begged me to get a tattoo on my lower back and I did. He wanted me to stay a blonde. He wanted me to look as hot as I could be. I did, but I told him I couldn’t dress that way all the time. I mean, I was now a mother and living with my mother. It was hard enough for her to accept my exotic dancing job and the fact that Sid and I had this weird relationship. I just couldn’t wear four inch heels and go braless and squeeze into tight clothes all the time. I said I’d dress like that when he was around, but he’d have to tell me when he was coming by the condo. He did that, and was very happy with me. He knew he was demanding, but we had this thing, this connection, where I understood his needs. We also knew he was changing, getting ready for his new life with just me. He just had a lot of bad habits to break and I was patient because I could see his progress.”
    Bambi finished her confession. “I was faithful to him and he knew it. I made him see a doctor regularly and get tested and show me the results. I made him wear a condom. He didn’t like that at first, as he wanted us to have another child, but he knew why I made him do it; so we all stayed healthy. I wasn’t so sure about having a second baby as I was forty-one. But, I told him I’d do it if he made the total commitment and told everyone. We would need to get married and we needed to live in his mansion. He had to stop the playing around. I would stop working at Modern Girls. I wanted to be a stay-home mother and wife. And, my mother would be moving in with us.
    â€œHe agreed with everything I wanted. He told me he was going to announce our engagement and plans just a few weeks after Troy’s high school graduation. I found out later he was being truthful.”
    I asked, “How?”
    Bambi answered, “He changed his will.”
    â€œThat’s right.”
    ***
    My memories skipped ahead to the Arizona part of my 2003 vacation.
    Edie caught me up with her life since we last met at Andi Anderson’s wedding in 2000.
    She spoke about her TV series, her love life, and life in L.A. at the Gabriel estate.
    I decided to tackle a tougher subject. I asked, “So, how is your dad?”
    â€œHe has dark moods. Sometimes when I visit he doesn’t talk. I get