place for a relationship right now and I don’t want to waste some guy’s time. That wouldn’t be fair.”
She took a bite of her lasagna and spent a whole minute chewing it because it was so big. When she finally swallowed it, her eyes widened. “I have a perfect idea!”
“What?” I asked eagerly.
“Hire an escort.”
All the energy I had disappeared. “A male prostitute? Harper, you’ve had some crazy ideas but this has to be—”
“No.” She held up her hand. “My friend hired this guy to take to her friend’s wedding because her ex would be there. She just paid him to act as her date. There’s no sex or anything like that at all. They don’t even offer sex. They are super professional. And apparently, the guy was smoking hot.”
I’d never heard of that before.
“Hire a guy to act as your boyfriend for a while. When your dad gets off his high horse and stops acting like a smelly douchebag—”
“Smelly douchebag?”
Harper ignored the interruption. “Then you can stop paying for his services. Once the company is legally yours, then your dad can’t do anything about it. The guy doesn’t get hurt because it’s just business, and you don’t have to deal with a real boyfriend since you aren’t ready for one. Dude, it’s perfect.”
“Dude?”
“Did you listen to a word I said?” she demanded.
“I did.”
“What do you think?” she asked.
I ate a few bites of my lasagna while I considered her proposal. “I don’t know…paying some guy to be my boyfriend is a little…pathetic.”
“You aren’t making him be your boyfriend,” she argued. “He’s just a figurehead. It doesn’t make you pathetic. It’s not like you actually have feelings for the guy and pay him to make you feel good. It’s not like that all. People do this all the time.”
“I don’t know…”
She pulled out her phone and started texting someone. “I’ll ask her what the company was called.”
“Don’t tell her it’s for me!”
“I won’t,” she hissed. “If she asks, I’ll say it’s for me.” She put her phone down then returned to eating.
I picked at my food, unable to believe I was actually considering this.
Her phone vibrated on the table and she snatched it like a snake. Her eyes narrowed as she read the message.
“What did she say?”
“It’s called Beautiful Entourage.” Her eyes were glued to her screen. “She said the guy was worth every penny and he was a total sweetheart. She would do it again in a heartbeat. And she thinks her ex was jealous.” She looked up at me. “Dude, do it.”
“Since when did you start calling me dude?”
“Aspen, do it. How much fun would it be to have eye candy everywhere you go?”
“A little weird, actually.”
“I bet his ass looks amazing.”
I felt guilty when I wondered how amazing it looked.
“I’m making you do this,” she said. “This is going to happen.”
“You just want to see how hot he is.”
“Do not!” She feigned innocence.
I gave her a look that said, “Bullshit.”
“Okay, fine. Maybe…”
“You got a date tonight with a guy with a great ass. Don’t get greedy on me.”
She twirled her hair playfully. “True…”
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
“You better think about it,” she said. “And if your answer is no, I’m just going to change it. So save us both some time by just saying yes.”
I pushed the Mai Tai closer to her. “Drink up and finish your greasy lasagna.”
She gave me an affectionate look. “You know me so well, bestie.”
“Better than you know yourself.”
Rhett
I just got home when my phone rang. It was Mrs. Robinson, the woman who lived across the hall from Chase. Anytime I saw her name on my phone, I dreaded taking the call. I forced myself to remain calm before I answered. “What’s he done now?”
“You really need to consider putting him in assisted living.”
That wasn’t an option. “What happened?”
“He’s in the laundry room, cowering