quoting Casablanca .
That realization hit Ben at the same time, and we both laughed.
“I do care about you, Daph, and my feelings for you will ultimately factor into my decision.”
“And I care about you,” I said. “A lot. That’s why I have to let you make the decision on your own.”
A FTER B EN DROPPED me off at home, I sat in the living room with my box of orchid petals and made orchids while feeling sorry for myself. Although the evening had ended on an upbeat note, there was still the possibility—a rather strong possibility—that Ben was leaving Brea Ridge. I tried to tell myself that he wouldn’t go. After all, he’d spent his entire journalistic career at the Brea Ridge Chronicle . Why would he leave it to start over with a new venture in Kentucky? Magazine startups have a high fail rate, especially in this new age of digital publishing. Even if Ben would be earning more money and it would be a more prestigious position than that of editor in chief of the Chronicle, where would he be if the magazine faltered?
And the name: All Up in Your Business . . . . What kind of a name was that? Were today’s professionals supposed to take a name like that seriously? It sounded more like the title of a television sitcom than that of a magazine intended to educate business leaders.
After making a few more orchids, I closed the plastic box and returned it to the kitchen. I went into my office-slash–guest room to check my mail. I looked at my mail—which was mostly junk—and then looked at my website statistics—visits were up a teensy bit, so that was good. And then I got to the real reason I’d logged onto the computer in the first place.
I opened up my favorite search engine and typed in “ All Up in Your Business magazine.” I scrolled through the links on the first page of search results and was beginning to think that maybe the company hadn’t set up a website yet. But then there it was, near the bottom of the second page.
I clicked on the link. The All Up in Your Business home page featured “A List of Articles We’re Working on for Our First Issue!” The list included such titles as “Small Business Networking,” “Stop Stressing, Start Achieving,” “Event Planning 101,” and “Eco-preneurs You’re Going to Love.” There was a graphic of the first cover—farmland with skyscrapers off in the distance—to illustrate, I imagined, that the magazine’s focus encompassed both the concerns of rural and urban business owners.
I thought that, given the cover and the proposed articles, the magazine would be off to a good start. The only drawback would be the magazine’s inability to compete with the larger business magazines already in existence and the plethora of daily business blogs.
I clicked on the About Us tab at the top of the page. There was a photograph of an attractive dark-haired woman with a chin-length bob. Her name was Nickie Zane, and she was listed as the publisher. I clicked on the link embedded within the highlighted text of her name, and another tab opened with more photos and information about the adorable and ever-so-accomplished Nickie.
While I was skimming over the information, one of the photos caught my eye. It was a group shot from Nickie’s college days. Smack dab in the middle of all those smiling faces—all but two of which were looking at the camera—stood Nickie and Ben. Nickie and Ben were the two people not looking at the camera. That’s because they were looking tenderly at each other.
I felt a little sick to my stomach. Ben had described Nickie Zane as somebody he’d gone to college with, not someone he’d been involved with . . . someone he’d been in love with. . . . Why hadn’t he told me more about his relationship with this woman? Obviously, there had been one . . . a serious one. And were Ben or Nickie—or both of them—eager to resurrect it?
I was a grown-up. I tried never to jump to conclusions. However, trying and succeeding were