Ball Peen Hammer Read Online Free PDF

I’m also a Morgan brother—and, trust me, we Morgans know how to bang. My whole life, my older brothers have shared information with me, telling me what they’ve figured out firsthand, sending me links to the best blogs to read and the best instructional videos to watch. My older brother Ryan in particular is our fearless leader in this arena, a fucking sex-guru that guy, I swear to God—though my oldest bro, Colby, the Grand Cheese of the Morgan siblings, is no slouch, either, when it comes to ringing the bell.
    Now don’t get me wrong. My brothers don’t send me videos of themselves mid-bang or anything like that, and we don’t, you know, lure women into some kind of depraved Morgan-brother igloo. We’re just normal guys who like to bang well and often. Nothing too kinky, as far as I know. All I’m saying is that we Morgan brothers share information with each other—hell yeah, we do—lots of it—all in the name of ‘helping a brother out.’ Literally. Which is why, at the tender age of twenty-three, I’ve already perfected all sorts of pretty nifty tricks to get women off, not the least of which is a little maneuver we Morgan boys like to call “The Sure Thing.”
    Still rolling your eyes at me, baby doll? Yeah. Didn’t think so.
    What’s The Sure Thing, you’re dying to know? Well, it sucks to be you, I guess. Maybe you won’t roll your eyes at me so much next time and then I’ll tell you. All you need to know right now is that it’s next level, baby, the kind of thing that makes a woman addicted to it and gives a guy the kind of swagger women can smell —which, in my line of work, translates into dollar bills for me and wet panties for the horny ladies.
    Speaking of which, the curvy brunette at the door is looking at me like she’s already thinking about tackling me.
    “Is there a problem, Officer?” the brunette says coyly, jutting her ample chest toward me and flashing a huge smile.
    “Yes, ma’am,” I say, smiling back at her. “A big problem.” I motion vaguely to my crotch when I say “big.”
    My new friend lets out a sexy little giggle and leans her shoulder against the doorjamb. “Oh my God. Wow.”
    “Is there an Allison Mendocino inside the residence, ma’am?” I run my free hand across my chest, right over my fake badge, across my pecs, and widen my stance a bit more, letting my bulge take center stage.
    “Yeah, Allison’s inside. Oh my God, she’s gonna lose her mind when she sees you. You’re absolutely...” The woman bites her lower lip, apparently considering her next word. “ Scrumptious .”
    Oh, that’s a new one. I like that. “Thank you,” I say smoothly. “That’s sweet of you to say.”
    “Not being sweet—you’re man-candy at its finest, Officer...” The woman leans forward and squints at my badge. “ Hammer .” She giggles. “Officer Hammer? Oh my God.”
    “My full name is Officer Ball Peen Hammer,” I say, flashing her a huge smile—the one that unleashes my dimples with extra sauce. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
    “Francesca.”
    “Oh, pretty name. Hi, Francesca .” I shake her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
    See what I did there? How I used the words “pleasure” and “Francesca” in close proximity to each other? Yeah, that was on purpose. You want a little tip? When first meeting a woman you want to fuck (or, if you happen to be in my line of work, when first meeting a woman you’re trying to make want to fuck you ), use her name early and often in a confident, masculine voice. Why? Because when a woman hears you say her name, it subliminally makes her feel like you’re staking a claim over her—you know, displaying your sexual dominance. And then, if you double down and explicitly link her name to the concept of pleasure , well, then, at that point you’re sending a coded message straight to the pleasure-center in her brain—which means you’ve got a horny fish on your line. You’re welcome.
    Francesca