other for dear life.
We continued to scream and point toward the corner.
My parents turned their heads to see what we were pointing at, but of course they saw nothing and proceeded to yell back at me. “What?! What are you pointing at?!”
JoJo’s teeth were chattering and her body was shaking, so I spoke.
“ Him! Do you see him in the corner? ”
My mom and dad again looked toward the corner, and my dad yelled back at me even louder, “ Jennifer, what in the hell is wrong with you? ” Jennifer was the name my parents called me when I was in major trouble (which happens often in this book).
My mother then yelled, “ What are you doing down here? It’s three A.M. ! And JoJo, you’re sick as a dog. ”
I looked at JoJo. Her eyes were pretty much rolling into the back of her head and she was shaking from her fever. I could tell she had still not regained the ability to speak, so I took the liberty of throwing her under the bus.
“JoJo crawled into my bed and then peed in it, and I didn’t want her to get in trouble, so we came down here to wash the sheets, but she started speaking in tongues and I think she was seeing ghosts.” There was no way I could stick up for her because I adamantly rejected the idea of being a nine-year-old in diapers.
My mom yelled, “Both of you get upstairs … now!”
I didn’t learn the meaning of the word “karma” until I moved to Los Angeles later in life, but looking back, my karma was about to unfold for blaming this entire incident on my sister.
Later in the month, I was all alone one night because JoJo decided to do something selfish and sleep at Grandma’s house. I mean pee on Grandma.
So while she was gone, I was forced to endure the demons myself.
My eyes popped open at two A.M. ; I stripped my bedsheets down and stood face-to-face with the basement door. I mustered up all the strength and Jesus power within and decided that if I made the sign of the cross over and over and over while walking down the stairs, I would be protected. Kind of like the wax on/wax off move from The Karate Kid , but with the sign of the cross.
I opened the basement door and started my descent. My hand moved at superhuman speed. Nothing was going to harm me … Suddenly, and all in slow motion, my foot missed one of the stairs. I felt my body floating in the air. All nine years of my life flashed before my eyes.
I quickly thought of two things:
1. I was about to become a child of Satan!
2. Which one of my sisters would get my Cabbage Patch dolls?
Oh no, I thought. It’s happening. This is it. I asked too many questions. I’m going to Hell.
It’s amazing how time stands still before impact in situations like this. I managed to yell, but not for help. Oh no, I full-on managed to scream the Our Father prayer in its entirety.
“Our Father Who art in Heaven hallowed be Thy Name Thy kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil Amen.”
And then BOOM .
I felt nothing. No pain. For sure I was in Hell. I knew my soul was forever in Satan’s hands, so I slowly opened my eyes. Standing before me was Satan!
Kidding. I opened my eyes and nothing was there. I slowly lifted my head and then sat up.
How I wasn’t hurt was a miracle.
I sat in awe, wondering if this fall symbolized my own fall from grace. Would I continue to be a devout Catholic or would I now be cursed with temptations from Satan? I knew only time would tell.
As you read on, you can make your own judgments about how hard I fell from grace.
7
Stay Home and Make It a Godbuster Night
Since we didn’t have much money to ever go out as a family, I really looked forward to Sunday movies at home with everyone. The only real bummer was that we had to borrow a VCR from our neighbor. Those things were expensive pains
We continued to scream and point toward the corner.
My parents turned their heads to see what we were pointing at, but of course they saw nothing and proceeded to yell back at me. “What?! What are you pointing at?!”
JoJo’s teeth were chattering and her body was shaking, so I spoke.
“ Him! Do you see him in the corner? ”
My mom and dad again looked toward the corner, and my dad yelled back at me even louder, “ Jennifer, what in the hell is wrong with you? ” Jennifer was the name my parents called me when I was in major trouble (which happens often in this book).
My mother then yelled, “ What are you doing down here? It’s three A.M. ! And JoJo, you’re sick as a dog. ”
I looked at JoJo. Her eyes were pretty much rolling into the back of her head and she was shaking from her fever. I could tell she had still not regained the ability to speak, so I took the liberty of throwing her under the bus.
“JoJo crawled into my bed and then peed in it, and I didn’t want her to get in trouble, so we came down here to wash the sheets, but she started speaking in tongues and I think she was seeing ghosts.” There was no way I could stick up for her because I adamantly rejected the idea of being a nine-year-old in diapers.
My mom yelled, “Both of you get upstairs … now!”
I didn’t learn the meaning of the word “karma” until I moved to Los Angeles later in life, but looking back, my karma was about to unfold for blaming this entire incident on my sister.
Later in the month, I was all alone one night because JoJo decided to do something selfish and sleep at Grandma’s house. I mean pee on Grandma.
So while she was gone, I was forced to endure the demons myself.
My eyes popped open at two A.M. ; I stripped my bedsheets down and stood face-to-face with the basement door. I mustered up all the strength and Jesus power within and decided that if I made the sign of the cross over and over and over while walking down the stairs, I would be protected. Kind of like the wax on/wax off move from The Karate Kid , but with the sign of the cross.
I opened the basement door and started my descent. My hand moved at superhuman speed. Nothing was going to harm me … Suddenly, and all in slow motion, my foot missed one of the stairs. I felt my body floating in the air. All nine years of my life flashed before my eyes.
I quickly thought of two things:
1. I was about to become a child of Satan!
2. Which one of my sisters would get my Cabbage Patch dolls?
Oh no, I thought. It’s happening. This is it. I asked too many questions. I’m going to Hell.
It’s amazing how time stands still before impact in situations like this. I managed to yell, but not for help. Oh no, I full-on managed to scream the Our Father prayer in its entirety.
“Our Father Who art in Heaven hallowed be Thy Name Thy kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil Amen.”
And then BOOM .
I felt nothing. No pain. For sure I was in Hell. I knew my soul was forever in Satan’s hands, so I slowly opened my eyes. Standing before me was Satan!
Kidding. I opened my eyes and nothing was there. I slowly lifted my head and then sat up.
How I wasn’t hurt was a miracle.
I sat in awe, wondering if this fall symbolized my own fall from grace. Would I continue to be a devout Catholic or would I now be cursed with temptations from Satan? I knew only time would tell.
As you read on, you can make your own judgments about how hard I fell from grace.
7
Stay Home and Make It a Godbuster Night
Since we didn’t have much money to ever go out as a family, I really looked forward to Sunday movies at home with everyone. The only real bummer was that we had to borrow a VCR from our neighbor. Those things were expensive pains
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