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for a minute before shaking her spoon at me. “I wish I knew who the bonehead was that requested a ghost tour without advance notice. When I find out, I’m going to turn that witch into a toad. Temporarily, of course.”
    “Bonehead, you say?”
    “Yeah. Why?” Ezzy squinted, leaning into me, up close and personal. “Are you the bonehead?”
    “No. I had nothing to do with the tours for those new guests.”
    “Aha! So it has to do with your Paranormal Plantation. It certainly wasn’t Brad. That leaves only one person. It must be your other boyfriend, Randy.”
    “Yes. I mean no! Yes, Randy is the bonehead, but he is certainly not my other boyfriend. Good Lord. Why would you even joke with me like that?”
    “Who said I was joking? After all, Randy is a very attractive man. You live together and spend more time with him than Brad. Sure, Randy’s gay, but you certainly aren’t. You can’t tell me you haven’t found yourself lounging in the bath, indulging some fantasy involving Randy.”
    Her hand swept across the table and she gently twirled a lock of my hair with her finger. Suddenly, her eyes lit up and she smiled with that sly closed-lipped, knowing smile of hers. It’s something of a trademark look she’d perfected over the centuries.
    “Ah, no. Something else. Not a fantasy. I know. A dream. You surprised yourself with a completely unexpected sexual dream with Randy.”
    She retracted her hand and returned to her tea. Looking quite smug and speaking in her best matter-of-fact voice, “Your naughty dream really is completely normal—almost expected actually. And don’t you worry your pretty little head, it’ll be our secret.” Ezzy sipped her tea. “Conditionally, of course.”
    “Really? Expected?” I found myself choking on my tea. I suppose I surprised myself with my initial response. “That’s just ridiculous and sick. Anyway, what do you mean by conditionally?”
    “Allow me to be indelicate.”
    “I wouldn’t expect anything less, Ezzy.”
    “A minute ago, I got a glimpse of your dream. From what I could tell, it’s pretty damning, yet part of you still longs to tell me everything. I’ll admit, you’ve aroused my curiosity. I just have to know what it’s all about.”
    Ezzy twirled her finger in a lock of my hair. “You should tell me, or I may have to ask someone else about what you were doing in that dream. I’m sure more than one person would like to have a discussion about your silly little dream.”
    I know my response sounded quite terse as it flew from my mouth. “You’re a wicked witch, Esmeralda Warren. Saints forgive me, but you are as wicked as they come.”
    I took a deep breath. I had no choice but to spill the beans. She already knew I dreamt something. If I didn’t play along with her little extortion act, she’d certainly bring it up to Randy, or even worse, Brad.
    “You’re right, Ezzy. It was just a silly dream I had once.”
    “Something must have triggered it, though. Do tell.” Her eyes remained clouded. “Tell me everything.”
    “Ugh. A couple of months ago, I walked past Randy’s bedroom. His door was cracked and I heard him breathing heavy, all noisy—you know, huffing and puffing. I called out to see if he was all right. When he didn’t answer right away, I peeped into his room. There he lay, naked as a newborn babe, Sweet Baby Jaysus! That was not what I expected. And what did I see? The boy was tearing the handle off himself with one hand and choking his bullocks with the other. For a second, I thought he might be having a fit, or something. But then I realized what was going on. It was a sight enough to make his guardian angel run home to Heaven. His hand jigged up and down like he shook hands with a kangaroo. Then he suddenly stopped and squeezed it like he’d just caught a snake in the wild. Just for a few seconds, though. Then he’d go right back to work on the monkey.”
    “Ahahaha! You walked in on Randy while he was bashing the