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them behind you as soon as you’re on the other side. It would never do to let anyone else in, do you hear me? Blackbrick. South gates. Do you understand, Cosmo? Do you understand completely?”
    I didn’t understand. Not even partially. But I nodded and tried to make my face look reassuring and calm.
    â€œThere’ll be nothing to worry about, because guess what?” he said.
    â€œWhat?”
    He lowered his voice. I had to lean in really close to hear.
    â€œI’ll be there. On the other side. Waiting for you. Bring a pen and paper. That’s what you’ll need to do, that’s a good fellow. Promise me you’ll go.”
    It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. It was proof that he really had lost it—that he really was a psycho, just like everybody kept saying.
    The Memory Cure website’s action number five said:
    Never act surprised or confused about what your loved one says. Always behave as if you know what they’re talking about, even if what they’re saying appears strange or incoherent.
    I said, “Okay, okay, I will, I’ll go there,” even though I knew that I probably wouldn’t.
    â€œWell done. Excellent,” he said, smiling. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”
    I took the key from him, and I said, “Thanks.”
    Thanks a bloody million.

Chapter 5
    EVERYONE WAS waiting when I came out. Ted was smiling, and the social workers’ heads were bobbing up and down enthusiastically and they were saying things like, “Well done, Cosmo, good man,” as if this was supposed to be the best day of my life and I should have been delighted.
    â€œDon’t worry!” said Dr. Sally as though she was about to explode with joy. “You’ll be in good hands!”
    â€œAm I still going to be able to go to the stables after school?”
    And that was when Ted said, “Oh yes, sorry, em, about that, we forgot to tell you. We have to send John away. He’s going to a farm. In the country. Where he can run around all day and be happy.”
    â€œA FARM in the COUNTRY?” I shouted. “What do you think I am, SIX? I know what that means. You’re going to have him put down. That’s basically MURDER.”
    â€œCosmo. I promise we’re not doing that.”
    He gave me the phone number of the farm and said I could call and talk to them about John to prove that he wasn’t having him killed.
    Dr. Sally told me that I should try to think about what my gran was feeling, and that it would be a good thing for me to think of other people for a change, and I told Dr. Sally to shut up and go away and never come back. She definitely heard me. It was the first time since I’d met her that she stopped smiling.
    I called the farm in the country. They said I could come and visit John whenever I wanted, but it turns out that “the country” was Kildare, which is miles away. Even though I’m not the most practical person in the world, I already knew the logistics were going to be a nightmare.
    Nothing was ever going to be the same.
    I gave the farm person on the other end of the phone a load of instructions about how they should take care of John and what he liked to eat and how to brush him and how warm his stable should be and how to look after his feet, which are the most important thing of all you need to focus on when you’re in charge of a horse. I asked them if they were writing it down, because it was a lot to remember.
    After a while I did calm down a bit, but it was just because I was tired.

    I spent a long time looking at the ceiling of Ted’s spare room that night, thinking about John and about the mad promise I’d made to my granddad.
    You shouldn’t break the promises you make to people. Nobody should. You can’t go around saying you promiseto do something and then not do it. Even if you’re pretty much certain that the thing you have promised to