Desperate seems like a strong word,” I whispered to the straight-laced, middle-aged dad next to me. He was here to promote an eternally-inflated football. I had my doubts about the product after his four-year old son managed to impale it on a screw back in the green room.
The guy grimaced in response. He looked like he was going to pass out. “You have mustard on your tie,” I whispered to him. He did. He looked down, panicked, and practically ran into the bathroom.
Ryan Angel was still talking. “We’re happy to welcome you all here, to Chicago, the new home of our beloved show. Behind me sit our Engineers, who make the deals that could change the lives of the six eager entrepreneurs we have tonight. First off, we have Mr. Zane Reid, Superbowl champion three times over and billionaire who made his money in Silicon Valley.”
Zane inclined his head in recognition of Ryan’s words. I bit my lip and blushed again even though I knew he wasn’t looking at me. God he was gorgeous.
“Then we have Roger Morehouse, who has turned his first-stage trust fund into a billion-dollar oil company of his own.” Roger flashed his perfect smile at the camera. “And there is the lovely Liz Anders, fashion mogul turned real estate tycoon who presides over her own billion-dollar empire that spans continents.” Liz waved with a perfunctory flip of her hand. “Last but not least, Scott Friend, everyone’s favorite grumpy deca-billionaire, who started out running a hot dog stand on the streets of New York City and now could buy out everyone in this room six times over.”
The camera panned to Mr. Friendly, who gave the camera his trademark icy stare.
“Let’s get boiling!” Ryan uttered his trademark phrase, stepping out of view of the camera as the cameraman panned to get a wide shot of the Engineers.
The director yelled “CUT!” and everyone took the opportunity to cough and sneeze.
Liz leaned across Roger to whisper something to Zane and he laughed, his face breaking out into a wide smile. My heart felt like it had stopped beating. This, a smiling version of Zane, was a face I recognized from every Superbowl win he’d managed to pull off in his too-short career. Though this version was considerably less sweaty and disheveled than the football one. I wondered what he smelled like. Shivers went down my spine.
The entire city of Chicago had been in mourning when he retired after three perfect seasons with no explanation of why he was walking away from his contract. His brother had died; that was the only thing amiss. He’d never divulged any reason beyond that.
The woman with the goat stepped onto the stage and the lights went back into position. Then they were filming. It was brutal watching her. The deal went on for almost an hour. It turned out she had edible goat’s milk lotion. The goat shit itself twenty-minutes in and then passed out from the hot lights. Mr. Friendly walked off the set point-blank in a moment of dramatic tension, and nobody offered her a deal.
She left the stage crying. The next three deals went off with varying levels of success. Deal number two was some cell phone app that I couldn’t comprehend; no deals. Deal number three was a stay-at-home mother with laundry detergent that smelled like candy flavors. A simple but brilliant idea. She got an offer from Liz and, shockingly, Mr. Friendly. She accepted Liz’s deal with glee as Mr. Friendly glowered in disappointment. The fourth person was a tall man with a proprietary design for an umbrella that withstood forty-mile-an-hour winds while folding up into a packet the size of a tube of toothpaste.
Everyone but Zane offered him money.
Then came Football Guy, whose tie had mercifully dried.
I was nearly next. I felt like vomiting on my shoes. Well, not my shoes. Callie’s shoes. The reminder that I would owe her a pair of custom-dyed Jimmy Choos if I barfed on them abated my nausea.
I watched Zane’s face carefully as Football Guy made his
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