Babe in Boyland Read Online Free PDF

to ask you something, okay?”
    He makes a gun with his fingers. “Shoot.”
    “What’s the surest way to tell the difference between a guy who’s being sincere and one who’s just looking to score?”
    He sways unsteadily for a long moment, blank-faced.
    I wait as long as I can stand to wait. “Chuck? Did you hear me?”
    “Sorry, whaz the question?”
    I repeat myself, enunciating so clearly I feel like an ESL teacher. Again, he just stands there, looking like a stunned bear in the moonlight. Finally he rubs his face. “Yeah. Okay. We’ll pretend this never happened.”
    “Wait, what? It’s a question. Can’t you just answer it?” My tone has gone from home-girl to strained patient to totally irritated.
    He points an accusing finger in my direction and bellows, “You trying to take advantage of me! Just because I’m wasted doesn’t mean I’m stupid!”
    I throw my hands up. “Whatever!”
    I storm back into the house, searching through one crowded room after another for Darcy or Chloe. I need a reality check here. What the hell am I doing wrong? What are these guys so scared of revealing? That’s when I feel a cool hand on my arm.
    “Natalie! It is you. Didn’t recognize you at first in those glasses.”
    I turn to see Summer Sheers and hastily take off the borrowed specs. She’s wearing a pink tube top, a short skirt, and her signature shoes: high-heeled pale brown Dolce & Gabbana boots. Her mounds of glossy blond hair are meant to look windblown and tousled but have obviously been meticulously arranged over her tan, luminous shoulders. Her lips are so coated in lip gloss it looks like she just polished off a whole tub of fried chicken.
    “Hey, Summer.”
    She smiles an innocent, sympathetic smile. “I didn’t know you had vision problems. That must be a drag.”
    I shrug. “I was just trying them out. How’s the play going?”
    Summer’s in The Importance of Being Earnest at the boys’ prep school just outside of town, Underwood Academy. Tons of girls from our school auditioned for only three roles; Darcy, Chloe, and Summer got cast. It’s a pretty rare opportunity to meet guys from Underwood, who are rumored to be cuter, smarter, and way more chivalrous than the losers at our school. I didn’t even try out. We did the same play last year at our high school, and I got stuck as Summer’s understudy. Despite learning every single line and fervently praying she’d get a bad case of dysentery, I never even got to perform. That’s when I decided to stop focusing on theater and start pouring more energy into my writing.
    “Oh, it’s great!” she gushes. “I’m learning so much. It’s amazing how much more in depth you can go when you play the same role a second time. Plus the guys at Underwood are so hot! Why didn’t you audition? You already know all the lines.”
    My stomach churns. “I knew you’d get it.”
    She slaps my shoulder playfully. “Nuh-uh!”
    “Obviously. You’re great in that role.”
    I despise the rituals of fake friendship Summer and I enact whenever we meet. I wish we could just claw each other’s eyes out and call it a day; instead we put on huge, radiant smiles and spout compliments until my teeth hurt from the saccharine sweetness of it all.
    “Oh, I think you’d do it beautifully,” she says. “We’ve got to get you back on the stage. I heard we’re doing A Midsummer Night’s Dream in the spring. Won’t that be fun? You would be an amazing Titania.”
    Translation: You don’t stand a chance.
    “We’ll see . . .” I hope my enigmatic grin masks my murderous impulses. “Oh, you better get in line for that keg. Looks like it’s running out.”
    She swivels toward the keg crowd and I make my escape.
    This party is turning out to be the turd-encrusted cherry on the top of my shit-shake of a day.

Chapter Four
    “ C ome on!” Darcy spoons batter onto the waffle iron and laughs. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”
    “Oh, it was worse!” I’ve