Awaken Me (The Jaded Series Book 4) Read Online Free PDF Page A

make her mine. I knew she loved me too. Maybe I wanted to wait until we were older and really knew what love meant. We were still young, but I knew in that moment I couldn’t hold it back anymore.
    She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and I buried my face in her thick blonde hair. When I pulled back, it wasn’t the young Anna I had just kissed in the lake. It was the broken Anna outside that cabin. She was bloody, bruised, and lying there dying. It felt like I was dying in that moment along with her.
    That’s when I woke up. Sometimes the dreams play out to the end and sometimes I can force myself to wake up before she dies.
    I run my fingers through my hair and growl in frustration. These dreams are slowly killing me. I don’t need to worry about me offing myself; the dreams and memories and broken promises are doing it for me. Some people may say I feel sorry for myself and I need to get over my shit, but getting over this isn’t so simple. Not when every piece of yourself feels like it’s being ripped from you until there’s nothing left. I know I need help, but there’s no way I’ll talk to anyone about it. If you haven’t gone through it, then there’s no way you can offer help.
    I get up from the bed and walk into the bathroom. After throwing some water on my face, I make my way into the kitchen. I open the cabinet above the coffeemaker and grab the bottle of whiskey. It’s about half-empty. I’ll need to make a run for more tomorrow. There’s no way I’ll get any sleep without it. The dreams are always worse when I’m at home. Just another reason I should leave. Maybe one day I’ll be able to come back without having my heart ripped out of my chest the moment I stroll into town.
    Forgoing a glass, my bottle and I step out onto my wraparound porch. The place is old and needs updating. Anna and I had planned on doing it together after we married. All the magazines and notebooks for our plans for the place are still down in the basement. I had planned on asking Anna to marry me on our anniversary, but she died a couple months before.
    Now, I just don’t care. Yes, it’s my family’s home, but it was supposed to be a project for both of us.
    I take a seat on the wicker loveseat outside and uncap the bottle. Taking a big swallow, I lean my head back against the back of the seat and close my eyes. I see a flash of red hair and green eyes in my mind and it irritates me. Chris is invading my mind more and more lately. Ever since that day at Jaxon’s. The way she smelled that morning had my cock hardening. I haven’t gotten hard since the last time I was with Anna. It was like my body shut down and said fuck you. I haven’t felt even a lick of desire toward another woman since I knew Anna was it for me. Seeing Chris in her bathrobe with water dripping from her fiery hair had my body reacting. I didn’t like it. My body and heart only wanted Anna, and when it showed signs of life for another woman, I almost lost my shit. I don’t want to feel anything for her. I don’t want my body to tense or my blood to heat when looking at her.
    Even if I could get over Anna’s death, there’s no way I would ever get involved with another woman. Life is full of surprises and unpredictable things. Taking the chance of going through that kind of pain again is not worth it. Who’s to say I would be there for the next girl? Who’s to say I wouldn’t fail her too? I won’t take that chance again.
    I take another healthy swig of the bottle and look out over my property. It belonged to my parents. They both died in a car crash when I was seventeen. Luckily, the courts deemed me old enough to care for myself. I have no other family left. If I decide to move, I would have to either sell the place or pay someone to take care of it for me. I don’t know if I would be able to sell it. My grandfather built it for my grandmother when they got married.
    I chug the rest of the bottle and set it down on the table beside