At the Heart of the Universe Read Online Free PDF Page B

the whole school!—and they don’t like me from the outside and they don’t see that inside I’m the same as them, and I just want to be friends? I hate Spook Rock—they’re all stuck up and into being popular.” She wasn’t crying now, and turned over to look at him. “Can I go to public school the rest of the year?”
    Pep had never seen such a sad look on her face. She was, as always, laser-like in her intensity, and he’d seen her in tears before, but this was something else—a deep hurt, a sorrow. “I’m really sorry you feel bad, hon, but how would that help?”
    â€œâ€™Cause there are Chinese kids there, some of ’em are my age, like the kids whose mom and dad own the Chinese restaurant we go to? I want to change schools. Please?”
    Pep was shocked. He’d known that lately, most mornings, she hadn’t wanted to go to school, but he’d never realized why.
    â€œMom and I’ll talk about it tomorrow. We’ll try to work something out. I’m really sorry you’re having such a hard time, Kate-zer. It’s sad .”
    â€œReally, really sad, yeah.”
    â€œWe’ll try to help. We’ll take it gentle-gentle , like always, okay?”
    â€œOkay, but don’t say anything to any kids or teachers or other parents, okay?”
    â€œOf course not, hon.” She laid her head down on his arm again, and he said what he had always said to her in the old days, “Coazy-coazy! It’s so coazy-coazy!” and he rubbed her back and felt her calm down. Her confiding in him, and the feeling of being so close to her, like they once had been, brought a sudden bolt of despair. How has it happened? How have I lost this? Somehow or other, with my wife and my daughter, I’ve become outsidered too, and I’ve got no idea how to get back in. Close to tears, feeling her calm breathing, he realized the depth and intensity of his love for her—and for Clio. It made him realize how lonely he had become. Katie and Clio have their own world together now. I’ve gotten pushed out—and they don’t even know I feel it. He sighed. Figuring she was asleep, he eased his arm out from under her and got up.
    â€œCheck on me, Dad, will you?”
    â€œSure, hon.”
    â€œAnd keep checking on me.”
    â€œI will. Have a beautiful sleep. Love you.”
    â€œLove you too.”
    He got up, tucked her in, and left. Maybe this was why she’d had such trouble going to sleep lately. Ever since her last sleepover, at Kissy’s, when she’d called in the middle of the night and they’d had to go all the way out to Copake Falls to get her and bring her home. She said, then, that she had been the last one awake, left alone in the dark, unable to fall asleep. Alone. Left. Scared. Ever since, they’d had the night ritual of going back into her bedroom every few minutes so she knew they were there, until she was asleep. Maybe it is from her being abandoned, left alone in the dark, at only a month old. Clio’s right. In Changsha, we have to find out what we can.
    ï­ï­ï­
    The next day Katie came home from school with a gift for Clio, a Chinese-style drawing she had done—a bunch of purple grapes on a branch—and a poem:
    We both have hearts.
    Your in mine and mine in yours.
    Even if your far away I’ll
    Always carry you in my heart.
    Later that night Pep and Clio talked over what Katie had said. Clio talked with Katie alone as well. Talking seemed to help, but they couldn’t send her to public school, no. Spook Rock Country Day was elitist, yes, but Columbia Public was like a war zone.
    A week later, when Clio was driving her after school, Katie, from the backseat, said, “Mom, I’ve been thinking of like when we’re in China?”
    â€œYes, dear?”
    â€œI bet my birth mom will recognize me, and I think I’ll want to stay a while?”
    Clio