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even when she was right in
the living room so Kate and Dane couldn’t forget I was close.
    When Dane left after he ate dinner at our house and I found out I
kind of liked him, I watched out the window as Kate walked him to
his pickup.
    Then I forced myself not to watch because
firstly, I didn’t want to see and secondly, I was not an
un-awesome, uptight Mom who would watch her daughter and her new
boyfriend out the window.
    But as I was turning away, my head whipped
back and my eyes narrowed on the drive.
    Except for under my car, Kate’s car and
Dane’s pickup, the drive had been shoveled clean of
snow.
    I stopped looking out the front window to
look left, out the window at the side over my kitchen sink facing
Joe’s house.
    The house was dark and there was no shiny,
black, new model Ford pickup in the drive.
    There wasn’t one the next morning either.
    Or the next.
    Or the two weeks after that.
     
     

Chapter Two
    Hunger
     
    I drove home from the garden shop thinking a
variety of things.
    First, I was thinking that full-time
paychecks didn’t mean much of a change to part-time ones,
especially when taxes and insurance were deducted.
    Second, I was thinking that I spent an awful
lot of time while Kate and Keira were growing up wishing I could do
things. Things like go to a movie whenever I wanted. Things like
take a long, hot bubble bath when the spirit moved me. Things like
reading a book without the word “Mom” shouted over and over again
(as in, “Mom, where’s my backpack?” and “Mom, Keira’s bothering
me,” and “Mom, I’m hungry”). Now, with Kate out with Dane all the
time (or in with him at our house, which I preferred seeing as I
could keep an eye on them, however I still didn’t see much of Kate
during these times) and Keira, who seemed to be attempting to make
an art form out of socializing, they were never home. I could go
see a movie, have a bubble bath and read a whole book if I wanted
to. But, of course, since life mostly sucked and not a whole
helluva lot worked out for me, I didn’t want any of that anymore.
All I wanted was my girls to be home.
    I could have probably handled this better if
Tim was at home or I knew he was coming home instead of knowing I
was going to an empty house, a one-woman dinner and nothing but
aloneness until weeknight curfew hit (eight o’clock) or weekend
curfew hit (ten o’clock for Keira, eleven for Kate). Unfortunately,
this wasn’t an option.
    I turned down the street and my mind left
these thoughts as I saw the lights on and the black pickup in the
drive at Joe’s house.
    “Great,” I muttered under my breath.
    It bothered me that he was home, why, I
couldn’t imagine. He’d be gone tomorrow and I didn’t care about him
anyway. I doubted he’d come over and ask me to have a drink with
him at J&J’s or that I’d even see him at all. And there was no
snow to shovel, making me think he might be a decent guy even
though I knew he was not. And I knew he shoveled my snow, I knew
this because I asked Colt if he’d done it and he’d said no and I’d
asked Jeremy if he’d done it and he’d said no and since my other
close neighbors were either too old (Myrtle, the widow who lived
across from Joe and Pearl, the spinster who lived across from me)
or bitches (Tina, who lived next to me on the other side), it had
to be Joe.
    But him being home, seeing his truck in his
drive, for whatever reason bothered me, I couldn’t deny it.
    I turned into my drive and parked under the
awning. The days were staying lighter longer but night was edging
in, it was getting late. Bobbie had asked me to do a bit of
overtime and I did it. I needed the money for one, for another, why
not? There was no reason to go home when Kate and Keira were both
out.
    I grabbed my purse, exited the Mustang and I
stopped when I heard a woman’s laughter. I looked right to see Joe
in his black leather jacket and jeans, sauntering to his truck.
Behind him was a woman in a skintight,