with Bella." I closed my eyes and resisted the urge to slap my forehead with my palm. "Obviously, I jumped to a conclusion. A stupid, stupid conclusion."
He nodded, the oppressive fear of rejection letting up a bit. "And?"
"And?" I bit my lip, deciding the best way to do this was quickly. "I almost slept with Max."
I mentally counted to three, waiting for Nathan to explode. He did, but not as I expected. With a howl of laughter, he fell sideways off the bed.
"Nathan! It's not funny!" I pounded the mattress. "I almost slept with Max!" Peering over the edge of the bed, I saw Nathan wipe tears of laughter from his eyes. "Oh,
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I heard you. I bet it was dead romantic, too."
"Oh, shut up," I admonished with an involuntary laugh. "I can't believe I thought you slept with Bella."
"I can't believe you did, either. I can barely stand her. Do you know she chews her toenails? I mean, she doesn't clip them off like normal people, she puts her foot in her mouth and chews them!" He shuddered in disgust. "I thought you'd give me a little more credit."
Our laughter subsided into charged silence. Nathan sat up, resting his forearm on the bed as he studied me "Carrie, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to. If you don't want to come home, tell me."
Nome . Our home. My chest squeezed as though it would suddenly collapse. My mind raced for some proof that this was an elaborate trick to break my heart again. "I do want to come home. But I can't promise I'll wait for you. It's too unfair to ask that of me. So…
"
"So?" he asked, a reluctant smile quirking the corner of his mouth. I hated to kill the happy expression that might grow there. "So, I'll think about it." His smile held the promise of happiness. Realistic happiness, but still, more happiness than we'd had. "Carrie?"
The way he said my name, the way it sounded heavy and meaningful on his lips, gave me chills up my spine. "What?"
"I've been dying to kiss you."
At those words, the chills ran straight from my spine to my stomach, raced down my arms and pulled a soft, "Oh," from my throat. I swallowed thickly and nodded, wetting my lips, which had become suddenly parched in anticipation.
Wordlessly, he climbed into bed beside me and we kissed as though we'd never done it before. Not because it was clumsy and awkward, but because there was more to it on both ends than there ever bad been. There was a fierceness in him I'd never experienced before, not born of desperation, or fear of losing me, as when I'd first become his fledgling. It was something between determination-determination to let go and make this right—and confidence I would be there when all was said and done.
I wished I could be as sure as he was.
But my body was certain of what it wanted. No matter what had transpired between us, I needed him on a primal, visceral level. His blood was in me, making me a part of him. I couldn't seem to touch him enough, even as his mouth covered mine again and again, even as his hands found their way to my back, pulling me tight against him. I rose on my knees before him, and he mimicked my action, pulling his shirt off in the process. I actually moaned at just the sight of him, his pale skin pulled taut over hard muscle. The scars from the Soul Eater's spell still marred his chest and arms, and I wondered briefly at the power of a magic that could leave permanent marks on a vampire. But rational thought fled when he reached for me. Like always, Nathan could make the complications of the world disappear for me when I was in his arms. Not because I was an affected flower prone to swooning, but because everything about him—his body, his mind, his scent, his touch, his problems—everything was larger than life.
And you always get caught up in it, and you always fall, and he's never there to catch you.
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