Asa (Marked Men #6) Read Online Free PDF Page B

all.
    “I’m supposed to go tomorrow.”
Supposed to
being the key. If I could find any excuse to skip hearing a shrink tell me I was just suffering from survivor’s guilt, I was going to latch on to it. I had screwed up. I knew it and I didn’t need anyone to lead me to that conclusion, but if I wanted back on the job I was going to have to bite the bullet and force myself to go lie on some stiff leather couch and get my head shrunk.
    Saint stopped when we got to my 4Runner and tilted her head as she regarded me solemnly. I stared back at her because I valued her and the honest friendship she offered too much to just dismiss her concern.
    “Go. Listen to what the psychologist has to say. You don’t have to go through whatever this is alone, Royal.”
    She reached out and gave me a one-armed hug, which I returned stiffly. Whatever
this
was, it was clearly not only affecting me at this point.
    When we pulled apart I gave her a lopsided grin and told her, “I tried to get Asa to go home with me again last night.”
    She lifted one of her rust-colored eyebrows at me. “Again?”
    I wrinkled up my nose and pulled open the door to my old SUV. “He keeps telling me he’s not interested. Maybe he just doesn’t like me.”
    She gave a delicate snort and moved to zip up her coat as the wind picked up and turned the winter air into something hovering on the edge of unbearable.
    “Of course he likes you. Maybe he can just tell that you don’t like you very much right now.”
    I scowled at her but didn’t argue. I didn’t like myself so much at the moment. I lifted up the sleeve of the hoodie on one arm and showed her my wrist, which made her gasp in shock. “I had too much to drink and got myself into something I shouldn’t have. Asa pulled me out of it and then took care of me until I was sober enough to get myself home.”
    “Nash says even with all the stuff from his past, Asa really is a pretty decent guy.” Saint sounded unsure of the truth in that though.
    I just shrugged and turned on the car. It was freezing and the motor took forever to heat up enough to do any good.
    “Decent is boring if it means I can’t even get to first base with him.” I sounded petulant and frustrated, which made her shake her head at me.
    “I think you’re looking for trouble on purpose.”
    Her warning fell on deaf ears. I
was
looking for trouble, but trouble wouldn’t look back, so it was a moot point anyway.
    “I’m looking for something, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
    “No, there’s not, but when you have your shield back and you’re in uniform again the game changes, Royal. You might want to consider that.”
    I didn’t want to think that far ahead. I didn’t want to think about any of it at all. I grumbled under my breath as Saint took a step back so I could close the door.
    “I’ll call you Monday after I talk to the shrink, if I do, and I’ll tell Dom you said hello.”
    “Dominic loves you no matter what, you know.”
    I nodded, and for the second time that afternoon I felt tears well up in my eyes. “That’s what makes all of this so much worse. I’ll talk to you later.”
    She gave a little wave and headed over to her own little Jetta that would heat up and defrost a million times faster than my old tank. I could afford something newer and sleeker but the 4Runner had been with me since I was a teenager and there were so many good memories tied to it I couldn’t stomach the idea of letting it go.
    Dom did love me and I loved him. He was everything to me. He was my guiding light, my voice of reason, Dom was without a doubt my hero, and more than that he was the one that always was there to remind me that I had a purpose beyond being a pretty face. If it hadn’t been for Dom, there was a good chance I would have bought into my own hype early on when it became clear that the genetic gods had been giving with both hands when it came to my physical attributes. Dom was always the