Arms Wide Open: a Novella Read Online Free PDF Page B

something
lasting, and I never did. He’s a great guy, and we had fun. It wasn’t fair for
me to use him like that. He deserves someone like you, someone who really wants
to be with him long term.”
    She looks surprised, but I hope she
picks up that I mean every word. “So you’re really okay with this? You’re not
throwing on a happy face for his benefit?”
    “Erica, he was never more than a rebound
guy to me. He couldn’t have been a better or nicer one, but that’s all it ever
was on my end.” I look down. The honesty feels cathartic, a sweet release, so I
keep going. “I never told him about...” I think, trying to find the right
words. “I never told him everything. He was an escape. I went through hell and
back a few times before I started grad school, hoping for a fresh start. He was
what I needed to move on from all the pain of my past. When I was with him, I
wasn’t much more than a student and Jeremy’s girlfriend. I just needed to
forget, try to live again, and he helped me. I’ll always be thankful for that,
even though he has no idea he helped.”
    She looks like she doesn’t know what to
say, so I keep going while the wheels in her brain start cranking. “I’m here
tonight for one reason only: my roommate dragged me here, and then promptly met
a great guy and ditched me. I decided to stay the rest of the night and follow
through as part of moving forward without using anyone else as a crutch. When I
see her later, I’m probably going to beat her senseless, but since she met
someone she really likes, she’ll die happy.”
    She nods, clamping her lips together and
working them as if she’s spreading out lipstick. Jeremy returns with two
covered paper mugs in a cup holder, and a bag with the top rolled down and
folded. “That was fast,” she says, taking the bag from him.
    He nods. “Tons of people here, but no
one’s buying coffee. What’s going on?”
    “Harlow dragged me to their 5 in 5 blind
date thing and then bailed on me.” I shrug. I’m starting to wonder about my resolve
to stay and finish. I feel like a martyr, as if I’m only here to have something
to hold against Harlow later. I’ve scored seriously odd companions for the
night and I don’t know if I can handle it if things get any weirder. I don’t do
people and crowds well, and the emotional turmoil I find myself in since
running into Jeremy threatens to knock me over and drag me down.
    “There are three in here,” Erica says.
Not sure what she means, I glance over and see her with the paper bag wide
open, examining its contents. She reaches in and pulls out a small pastry
wrapped in waxy tissue, tugging at the paper to see what went wrong. “Did you
order extra? Did they make a mistake? Jeremy, you should take this one back.”
    I shake my head and look at him, and I
can’t help it as a crooked smile breaks free. Typical Jeremy. His eyes meet
mine as he reaches over to take it from her. “I thought Lauren might like one.
Far as I know, you’re still looking for work, right?”
    I nod and take the pastry from him. I
don’t need to see what it is. He knows my favorite—white chocolate scones with
raspberry glaze. This shop is the only place in the city that makes them, and
he used to bring them over for my marathon study sessions. He would knock on
the door when he knew I had a major project due or test coming up, hand me the
bag, grin, kiss me on the forehead, and leave without saying a word. The more I
think about it, the more I have to wonder why I let him get away.
    Then an image flashes in my mind, the
vision of a beautiful face that will always haunt me. A face I thought I’d see
forever, the one I wanted to wake up next to every morning for the rest of my
life. The one that made me believe in soul mates.
    Until it ended.
    That’s why I had to walk away. Jeremy is
perfect in every possible way, from his steely blue eyes and boyish charm to
his loving, thoughtful gestures and passionate kisses. But