Anything Less Than Everything Read Online Free PDF

never
got to pick the pizza, or even the appetizer."
    "Why did
you stay with him if he was so selfish?" I froze as he said this. It was
the question I had avoided answering to myself for the last two months. Maybe
the last two years. I had focused on what I had done to make him leave, but
never on why I had put up with him. "I'm sorry," he said quickly.
"Don't answer that."      
    "No,
it's okay," I said. I looked out over the garden, past the pond, into
space. "I guess it became a habit. I tried to give him a chance, thinking
it would get better. After awhile it was just the way it was and I forgot that
his behavior wasn't normal." Saying this out loud was painful. I had never
admitted to anyone how uncaring Spencer was, assuming that that was what I
deserved for staying with him. And now I was admitting it to a virtual
stranger.
    "No one
should be treated like that. Especially not by someone who says they love you.
Especially not someone like you."
    I laughed.
"What? You mean girls who allow themselves to be trampled because they are
too afraid to hurt someone's feelings if they dump him?"
    "No,"
he said, "girls who care so much about others that they put those feelings
above their own, even at great consequence."
    "Same
thing."
    "No it's
not. You cared, he didn't, but you wanted to believe he was capable of it, to
care about him anyway because you believe everyone should have someone who
cares about them. Tell me I’m wrong."
    I'd never
thought about it that way. Aaron had taken my thoughts, but turned them so that
my actions were not a fault, but a virtue. I sat there, thinking about this for
a moment.
    "Okay,"
I said finally, "assuming you're right, then how do I keep from ending up
in the same situation again?"
    "Easy,"
he replied, stretching his arms out in front of him. "Find the right
guy."
    I laughed
again. "Yeah? What's he look like?"
    "Oh, I
don't know...about 6'6", dark hair..." He said it seriously, but his
eyes gave him away.
    "I wish
it was that easy. To just look to your right and find him. Perfect guys don't
exist anyway. Even the seemingly perfect guys could be lying."
    "I never
said he had to be perfect, just right. For you."
    I wanted to
thank him for his words, for taking the time to listen and not just offer
platitudes, but how do you do that without sounding cheesy? Or, really, without
revealing more than you mean to? "Are you always this good at making
people feel better?" I finally asked.
    He shrugged.
"I guess it comes from having sisters. It's like I was born a big brother;
it's in my nature to protect and make things better. Do you feel
better?"
    More than
you could imagine , I
wanted to say. Instead I just nodded. "Thank you."
    "Any
time." He smiled and nudged my leg with his knee. "But now I’m
changing the subject back to our conversation last night and you knowing more
about me than I do about you."
    “I think
you’ve learned more than enough about messed up me today,” I said. I was
shocked he was still sitting next to me, that he hadn’t suggested I take him
back to the hotel, or even chosen to sit through the rest of the movie. But he
didn’t.
    “Nope,” he
said. “None of that is who you are, just what has happened to you. I want to
know you .”
    I looked at
him, confused. “Why?” I asked.
    “I haven’t
figured that out yet,” he said, no humor in his voice, “but I know that I want
to.”
    I could feel
the color rise to my cheeks, but Aaron was looking out over the garden, not at
me. It would be so easy to like him. I mean like him , like him, as my
students would say. But that would be silly for so many reasons. Just enjoy
the night, Brooke , I told myself.
    From there
the conversation drifted to school, our families, plans for the summer. I had
never met someone so easy to talk to. I had known Aaron for only twenty-four
hours, and yet it felt like I had known him forever, but not. It was hard to
describe: on the one hand, I felt at ease telling him things I would