Anno Zombus Year 1 (Book 8): August Read Online Free PDF Page B

How I longed for a fresh, juicy Meat-Beast steak.  While she cooked, Jester examined the monitors and computer systems.
     
    “By the look of things, I could probably open up every shop in the entire place from here, you know,”  Jester was saying around some piping hot baked beans.  “It'll be a damn sight easier than trying to find the Dead guard with the keys, cause he is out there, somewhere.  Up to you though, really.”  He said, indicating me.  I told him that I'd sleep on it.  One thing I really liked about this security office; it had several rooms to it, all of which contained incredibly comfortable furniture.  Apocalypse Dog had already claimed one couch as his, though he was willing to share, as long as you didn't mind a doggy tongue exploring the inside of your ear while you slept.

August 7 th Year 1 A.Z.
    morning
    The monitors showed nothing untoward this morning, though we kept careful watch as we cooked and ate some more of Deathwish's seemingly unlimited supply of baked fucking beans.  Jester apologised out of the blue, an instant before his silent, yet deadly brown wind struck, rendering all olfactory senses thankfully inert as the sounds of several days' worth of beans passing through each one of our digestive tracts thundered across the security office.  Machete and Scout could barely contain their giggles, losing their shit entirely when Apocalypse Girl casually lifted a cheek and practically tore a virtual, stinky hole through the couch upon which she sat.
     
    “What's that?”  Apprentice asked, pointing to one of the monitors.  “I could have sworn I saw movement...seems like there's nothing there now, at least!”  Dead swarmed and shambled across many of the screens.
     
    After a short while gathering ourselves together and setting up the security office as a kind of headquarters, with Apocalypse Girl and Machete keeping an eye on our supplies, Jester figured out how to unlock all of the various shops and stores inside this enormous structure.  His skill with computer systems was impressive, to say the least.  Butler begged him to stay behind at the security office, though he wanted to search for some quite specific things, Jester relented and agreed to stay behind once I told him that we would likely just be putting down the Dead today, maybe tomorrow as well.  Deathwish reluctantly parted with his massive backpack of beans.
     
    Apocalypse Dog was torn between wanting to stay behind and wanting to go on an adventure with some of his people! This state was exacerbated by Machete slapping the couch next to her and Scout slapping her thigh.  In the end, he was distracted by his own tail, spinning around several times before falling to the floor and chewing his own arsehole.  We took that as our cue to leave.
     
    noon
    A few more Dead in the halls today, it seemed.  They fell as easily as ever, Deathwish accounting for no small number with his hammer.  “I always felt useless as part of the Scavenging Squad, you know?”  He told me, laying another Dead one flat.  “Knocking these fuckers on the noggin is way more fun than lugging massive amounts of fucking toilet paper around for Her Majesty!”
     
    An hour or so into our excursion we found signs of the Living, traps that had been set for the Dead, a couple of security grilles that had been forcibly removed and replaced by makeshift barricades.  Campfires, even.  Abandoned, months ago by the looks of things, the number of Dead that remained caught in the traps.  There was, however, no signs of struggle, no massive amounts of blood covering the walls, floor and ceiling.  It looked as though whoever had been staying here had simply moved on.
     
    Deathwish was fossicking through a nearby CD shop, grabbing albums from all of his favourite artists when Apprentice reminded him that all he had were empty cases, the actual discs were behind the counter.  So, over he hopped, landing atop a Dead one, lurking since the end