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better, stronger man, had died in the mud in France. Victor who lived while hundreds of better men had died.
    And he didn’t know why. Sometimes he wondered if it was the good Lord’s way of laughing at them all. The Lord pulling a joke on them, letting a puny man like Victor live and taking the others on to heaven. Or maybe the Lord just didn’t want Victor.
    Nadine got upset whenever he said anything like that out loud. She’d glare at him and tell him in no uncertain words how wrong he was. She could not imagine a God who laughed, and Victor did not want to imagine a God who didn’t. It wasn’t often he saw her father in Nadine, but when she told Victor how he was approaching blasphemy talking about the Lord laughing at him, she had Preacher Reece’s fire in her eyes. It wasn’t a fire he liked seeing there.
    He wasn’t going to like seeing the disappointment in her eyes whenever he finally pulled himself off the couch and made his way into the kitchen, either. That’s what he was. Perhaps had always been. A disappointment. To his father. To his country. To his wife. To his children. To his Lord. A failure at everything he’d tried. The only thing he was good at was making the boys laugh when he was drinking with them. He supposed that was better than making the Lord laugh at his puny plans.
    He used to be able to make Nadine laugh, but he didn’t think there would be much chance of that this morning. Not from the sound of pans being banged around in the kitchen. He pulled in a slow breath and held it. He still hadn’t opened his eyes, but someone was coming across the floor. Quiet little hesitant steps. Not Nadine. Not Kate. Certainly not Evangeline. His oldest daughter wouldn’t even look toward him when he’d been drinking.
    He eased one eye open a slit. Just as he thought. Victoria Gale. His baby. Already ten years old, but still and always his baby. She looked like his mother. Fair of skin with almost black hair. A few freckles spotted her nose and upper cheeks, and her eyes were the green of a cold winter pond.
    None of the girls looked a thing alike. Evangeline took after Nadine’s side of the family with red hair like Nadine’s mother and beautiful blue eyes like Nadine. And Kate, well, Kate was Kate. Her hair was an ordinary brown, and her eyes sometimes didn’t seem to know what color they wanted to be, the way they changed from green to blue to gray according to her mood. But there was nothing ordinary about Kate. She practically exploded with life, had run after it with both hands ever since she was a little thing. It brought her hard knocks and falls sometimes, but that hadn’t ever stopped her.
    “Daddy?” Victoria’s voice wasn’t much more than a whisper. “Are you awake, Daddy?”
    The hint of fear in her voice pierced Victor. What had he become that his baby was afraid to stand beside him? He pushed open his second eye. “I’m awake, puddin’.” His voice came out raspy, but he managed to put a smile in the sound of it. “Are you awake?”
    She looked relieved to see that he really was her daddy and not some stinky hobo who had wandered in off the road. “Of course I’m awake,” she said with a giggle. “I’m walking around.”
    “You could be sleepwalking. Wandering around in dreamland looking for a way out. Any two-headed horses in there?” Victor sat up. He managed not to groan, but only barely. He was the one wandering around in a vast wasteland without a way to get back.
    “No, Daddy.” Victoria rewarded Victor with another giggle. “I’ve never seen a two-headed horse.”
    “Oh, but every girl should see a two-headed horse at least once in her life. They are curious beasts.” He leaned back against the couch and breathed in and out slowly. He wanted to close his eyes and pull the couch cushions up over his head, but his baby was watching him.
    “Are you sick, Daddy?” Victoria’s smile changed to a worried frown.
    “I’m not feeling too pert, but no,