barricaded myself in the shower and stayed there for a long time. The warm water dripped over my body and I shut out the world around me. I just needed a moment of silence to regain my composure. It was hard to be around Prudence and not beg her to consider loving me.
Why did I always fall for the wrong ones? First, it was Sharon, and now this. Well, that wasn’t fair. They were completely different situations. Prudence and I agreed to a meaningless relationship. I was the one breaking that agreement.
The relationship definitely wasn’t meaningless, at least not to me. Never in my life had I been so happy. Maybe I should end the engagement while I could. This wasn’t healthy for me. I should just let her go and try to move on.
But I couldn’t do that. I made a commitment to Prudence and I promised to marry her. What would she do if I backed out? I couldn’t do that to her. Her career was on the line. So what do I do?
I was screwed. I’d be stuck with her for the next year, making love to her without her reciprocating that affection. And that made me depressed as hell. But if I was in the situation, I should get the most out of it. This could be the best year of my life. She could be my one and only, the wife I should have had the first time. I could soak it up and enjoy it. When it was over, then I would crash and burn and start over. It was better to love and let love go than to not have it at all, right? I guess that’s what I would do.
When I came downstairs, Prudence had dinner ready.
“Are you okay?” she asked. She finished setting the table then came back to me. Her hands moved up and down my chest. The concern was in her eyes.
I took off pretty quickly and I didn’t really give her an explanation. In retrospect, it probably looked alarming. I forced a smile to my lips. “I’m fine, baby.” It wasn’t a lie. I had my breakdown then got over it.
She gave me a gentle kiss then pulled away. “Good. I’m sorry I was crying earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
Uncomfortable? Try heartbroken. “Baby, you didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
“I didn’t?” She seemed surprised.
I cupped her face. “No, not at all. My shoulder is yours to cry on whenever you want.”
“You don’t think it’s annoying?”
Where was she getting this? “Baby, no. Why would you think that?”
She shrugged. “My dad left because I’d cry every night…”
She had some serious issues. “I’m not your dad and I’m not going anywhere. He’s a fucking coward that couldn’t handle responsibility. It had nothing to do with you being a horrible daughter or person.” I rubbed my nose against hers. “I want to know your every doubt and fear. Everything you do is important to me. And there has never been a time in this relationship when I was annoyed by you or wanted you to leave.”
“Really?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you.”
That seemed to calm her down. “Okay.”
“Now what’s for dinner?”
“ Meatloaf. Then we’ll have biscuits.”
“Biscuits?” I raised an eyebrow as I sat down.
She laughed. “It’s dessert. Like cookies.”
“Oh.” I loved the way she spoke. It was adorable. “Sounds good.”
As soon as I took a bite, I was impressed. “This is good.”
“Dean taught me a few things.”
Oh. Him. “It’s very good.”
“Thanks, babe.”
I loved it when she called me that. She didn’t use that nickname when we were together the first time. It was affectionate and slightly possessive. And there was no one here to put on a show for. That was just for me. “I’m excited to have a wife. I’ll always have a home-cooked meal, and my shirts will always be ironed.”
Prudence laughed. “I’m your wife, not a maid.”
“Same thing,” I teased.
“Not if you want to see some more lingerie.”
My eyes narrowed. “I better see it.”
“Looks like I hit a nerve,” she said with a smile.
“A really big and long nerve.” I knew she understood my meaning