An Ever Fixéd Mark Read Online Free PDF Page B

argue against the truth.
    “Lizzie rekindled an old flame last
weekend,” Meg made Lizzie’s cheek match the color of her favorite
swatch.
    “What?” Nora shifted to Lizzie. “You aren’t
obsessing about Will again, are you?”
    “NO!” Lizzie choked on her next sip. “I
just… I went to my reunion.”
    “ That’s right,” Nora
sighed out. “What happened?”
    Lizzie glanced impatiently at Meg but
accepted responsibility to divert the conversation. “I just… it was
nothing, really.”
    “She said it was great sex,” Meg drank from
her glass to stop Lizzie’s protest.
    “Who was it?” Nora asked.
    “Ben Cottingham,” Lizzie forced a smile. “He
had a crush on my friend Sara for years.”
    “So you slept with him to prove
something?”
    “I slept with him because I had a lot of
wine.”
    “Are you friends?”
    “On Facebook,” Lizzie laughed. “Nora, it was
a one time thing. Don’t start imagining him as my escort to your
wedding.”
    Nora closed the lid on her box of swatches.
“Don’t you think it’s time, Lizzie?”
    “Time for what?”
    “To find someone… who isn’t just a one time
thing.”
    Lizzie looked at Meg for help, irritated
that she opened up that can of worms to avoid her own reprimand
from Nora. “I never wanted that, Nora,” Lizzie sighed out.
    “You did with Will.”
    “Not really,” Lizzie set her glass down and
walked over to the mantelpiece to get away from the direct line of
Nora’s eyes.
    “But you used to say…”
    “I said a lot of crap about Will. I never
really believed it, not deep down. I mean… I always knew I was
never what he wanted,” Lizzie looked at her fingers, feeling
uncomfortable with a conversation about a guy she hadn’t seen in
over a year.
    “Is that why you’re not calling this guy?”
Meg asked suddenly.
    “What?” Lizzie turned quickly.
    “Are you afraid of a Will encore?” Meg
continued softly.
    “I just said I never really wanted… I don’t
want a relationship right now, okay?” Lizzie breathed out
hastily.
    “ Oh, Lizzie. They aren’t
all like Will,” Nora sighed.
    “I don’t know that the ones like Ben are any
better. He didn’t say goodbye,” Lizzie snarled.
    Meg and Nora looked away from her. Lizzie
told herself that part of the morning after hadn’t bothered her. It
hadn’t… until she spoke it to her friends and realized there was a
part of her that did feel slighted. Because it was Ben Cottingham.
Because she saw the look in his eye for Sara with which she used to
follow Will. Because she bothered to feel sorry for him… and he
didn’t even say goodbye.
    “Are we getting pizza?” Lizzie broke the
silence. “Or Chinese food?”
    “Chinese food, are you kidding?” Meg said.
“Alec hates that stuff.”
    Nora rolled her eyes at Lizzie, providing
the comfort that Meg was not off the hook.
     
    Lizzie could not sleep. It was already 3:30
by the time Nora left. The sleepy buzz of martinis wore off while
she awaited Nora’s sobriety. Within a half hour she changed and
readied herself for the sleep that would not come. Too many
thoughts trickled into her brain. She wished Meg hadn’t brought Ben
up in front of Nora, prompting a discussion of details she resisted
acknowledging even to herself. Nora politely avoided the subject,
even as the evening hours started to wane into morning. She was
easily distracted by wedding details and did not return to the
subject of Lizzie’s flings.
    Ben wasn’t the only transient lover she had.
She had a surge of confidence in her sexuality as she approached
the last two months before the marathon. That was aided
significantly by Eric, a surgical intern, whom she met in the
cafeteria after a lunchtime run. He asked to join her next run,
which led to a drink, and then to his apartment. She gave him her
phone number, which he didn’t hesitate to use in the following
weeks.
    Lizzie liked Eric. Maybe because that’s
really all it was with him. Sometimes running… but