you wake up on your own, and I find you in the kitchen making sandwiches or eating ice cream until thereâs nothing left. When youâre done, you just go back to sleep.â
âHow did you get me to the doctorâs office?â
âWith great difficulty,â says Nicky.
âHow come I donât remember any of this?â
âI donât know. You didnât last time, either.â
âWhat about work? Did you just not go to work for three weeks?â Oliver asks.
âI set up a massage table in the spare room, saw a few clients here.â
The sunlight makes Oliverâs mouth feel strangely metallic, like heâs biting down on a piece of tinfoil. Heâs barely been awake for an hour, but already heâs anxious to the point of fatigue. Though this is his mother, his porch, his block, it all looks the same but wrong, like an elaborate set constructed to trick him into thinking heâs in the right place. Itâs early April now, officially spring, and though he understands that itâs been three weeks since heâd fallen asleep in chem lab, itâs one thing to see the date on Nickyâs newspaper and another to truly accept that heâs misplaced twenty-one days as easily as a set of car keys. A strong breeze rolls over them like a wave before dissipating, setting the bamboo wind chimes in motion. He hates their weird clicking sound, which Althea can imitate perfectly when sheâs in the mood to be irritating. Wind chimes are supposed to sound like church bells for your house, Oliverâs always said, not this eerie clacking that makes him think of the articulated skeleton hanging in the biology classroom. His headache pulsates grotesquely right above his eyebrows.
The first time he got sick, it was more strange than scary. For two weeks he was ravished by sleep and feverâand then it was just gone. He had come to with the feeling that he had slept unsoundly. He knew he had had a long series of uninspired dreams that werenât worth trying to recall, but also had the sense that he had spent more time in bed than his mother would normally allow. The one fragmented memory that remained was the image of Nicky sitting on his bed with her back to him, then turning abruptly to say, âAre you on drugs? If you are on drugs I will fucking kill you,â in the same exasperated tone of voice she used if he stood in front of the refrigerator for too long with the door open. And then heâd been subjected to spinal taps and MRIs and CAT scans, and after everything came back clean, the doctors had written it off as some kind of fluke. Heâd missed midterms and the last two weeks of the soccer season, but catching up hadnât been unmanageable, and he did his best to go on like the whole thing had never happened.
The second time feels a little different. The idea of twice has some gravity, some weight to it, enough to frighten Nicky, he can tell. Having already been assured that itâs not a brain tumor or an aneurysm or anything that involves a lot of his cells rapidly multiplying, heâs not scared of the tests as much as what life will be like while theyâre waiting for the results. And the more time he spends at the hospital, the more theyâll both start thinking of him as sick. He would be her sick child. She would be the mother of a sick child. Itâs too miserable even to contemplate.
Oliverâs what everyone calls a âsmart kid,â the kind you show your math homework to so he can check the answers right before class starts. The grades come easily; even his extended absences canât jeopardize his scholarship to Cape Fear Academy. He loves science the most. What sounds like philosophyâchaos theory and string theory, the ceaseless searching for the unified field theory that would, at last, happily marry relativity and quantum physics, hyperspace and dark matter and the universeâs fundamental grand