Alone on the Oregon Trail Read Online Free PDF Page B

expected to cover him with earth and that part did not come my way easily. It took some discipline to make myself cover his grave and I shed many tears as I could see the puddles of my teardrops as they fell across the surface.
    I never knew that teardrops could spread out so large upon the earth. They looked button sized and I may not have counted the drops, but when I was finished, there was a full coverage of button drops all over my husband’s covering. I left a part of myself that day with him and as I moved on I knew that my teardrops would lie over my husband as he rested, waiting for Jesus to resurrect him on that great day.
    I told myself that I left a bit of comfort for my husband, leaving my teardrops on his grave, as they would soak down into the earth that was lying so close to his body, but I knew deep down that the comfort was actually for me, so that I would feel a part of me withered away with him and that my teardrops would serve as a footprint in the sand.
    I gathered our belongings, Nathaniel’s and mine back into the wagon and I tried Nathaniel’s famous whistle to the team but sadly, the horses just stood frozen in place. This brought tears, sobs and outbursts filled with anger from my lips.
    My dear husband had a way with the team of horses and they did not recognize my commands for they were not Nathaniel’s voice. It must have taken ten minutes for me to get those horses to budge from the spot and I wondered later if they too could not bring themselves to leave Nathaniel behind.
    They finally gave in to the crack of the whip upon their backs and we shoved off down a lonesome trail. I finally would find out just how bitter silence was and it was never golden for me again. There is a silence that no one enjoys and it comes with the silence of loss. There is nothing calming about it, that kind of silence is what can drive people mad.
    This madness followed me for miles on that dusty forgotten road. I barely remember a thing from the time I laid Nathaniel to rest until I must have traveled another twenty miles. Even the team seemed to be irritated with me as I sat upon the seat rocking back and forth, pulling them back and forth with each sway.
    They tolerated me for quite some time until they finally came to a halt as if they were confused on which way to go and how to proceed forth. I could not even drive the team right and had caused a set of horses to fall into confusion and they refused to go any further.
    This made me angry once more and I jumped off the wagon and found myself screaming at the only hope of survival I had left. As I caught myself with a switch in my hand coming down upon the sweetest set of brown eyes, I felt as if a hand grabbed me firmly, yanking my arm back down until the switch came across my top part of my thigh. This sent a sting of fire across my leg and I cried out in pain.
    I collapsed to the ground in front of my team and as I looked up, all I could see was four of the most beautiful, compassion-filled eyes I had ever seen. The whipping I had brought myself to give to these innocent animals slapped me hard in the face through the eyes of forgiveness, and it brought me to my knees in horrible shame.
    I grabbed hold of one of the team’s bridles and pulled myself up and shoved my face in between theirs and my tears soaked their brown haired manes. After that day I knew the love an animal can give to its owner and where no one else can touch a person’s heart that has been shattered, an animal dares to go, and that is one day that proved this to be so true.
    God sends to us blessings and gifts that can and will go unrecognized for sometimes a very long time, but when the reality hits your heart of what you have received, the warmth of God’s love will surround you like a blanket. It took a long time for me to fully realize the work God did on me through the life of two animals who were suffering loss as well as I was, over Nathaniel.

Chapter Three
    (Trail Of