All the Pretty Hearses Read Online Free PDF

Wednesday-night guests had checked out and the remaining middle-aged couple in Room Six had left for the day, Judith headed up to Falstaff’s Grocery to check out the weekly specials. She brought along the notes she’d taken for the Paine family’s complicated dietary requests as well as some lactose- and gluten-free recipes she’d printed out from the Internet.
    The first stop was the produce section. She wondered if broccoli counted as a leafy green vegetable. Spinach would, but not carrots, green beans, or peas. Judith bagged two pounds of green beans and the same amount of carrots. Salad was problematical. If one of the Paines couldn’t eat leafy greens, she’d make something with fruit or serve raw vegetables. She was still mulling when someone bumped her from behind. “Move it, lady,” Renie barked. “I have to get to the oyster mushrooms.”
    “Coz!” Judith exclaimed, turning around. “I need mushrooms, too. I’m trying to figure out what to feed those Paines.”
    “Try poison,” Renie suggested, bringing her cart alongside Judith’s.
    “Don’t say that!” Judith exclaimed in a hushed voice. “Have you forgotten that the first time I encountered a murder, it was at my dining room table?”
    “So?” Renie said as they moved on to broccolini. “Didn’t that first corpse reunite you with Joe?”
    “Well . . .” Judith paused to reflect on her reaction when, after a twenty-year absence, the love of her life had walked through Hillside Manor’s front door. Detective Joe Flynn had been the primary assigned to the apparent murder of a fortune-teller. The victim’s death had set a new life in motion for Judith—and Joe. “Everything has its upside.”
    “I can still help tomorrow night if you want me,” Renie said.
    Judith studied the broccolini. “Leafy or not leafy?”
    “What?”
    “One of the Paines can’t eat leafy green vegetables.”
    “Oh.” Renie thought for a moment. “Some think it’s a cross between broccoli and asparagus, but it’s not. The broccoli is paired with a more obscure vegetable related to cabbage. Stick to the asparagus.”
    “Good idea,” Judith murmured, backing up to the asparagus bin. “But,” she asked after rejoining Renie, “what about Bill?”
    “He’s going to the University’s basketball game with Uncle Al. Freebies, of course.”
    The cousins had reached the diverse mushroom section. “Has Uncle Al ever actually paid for a ticket? I’ve never figured out how he’s so connected to every political, athletic, labor union, and entertainment segment in the city without getting arrested. Several of his close friends, including a former sheriff, have done prison time.”
    Renie shrugged before putting her oyster mushrooms into a produce bag. “Uncle Al’s a bit of a con artist and he’s always been lucky, even when he gambles in Nevada. He also has enough moxie for three people. Say,” she said suddenly, “would Joe like to go with Bill and Uncle Al? Surely he doesn’t want to be home while the Paines are there.”
    “I’ll ask,” Judith said, finding the freshest button mushrooms.
    “Okay.” Renie picked up two packages of udon noodles. “Did you know that Uncle Al already won a grand at Santa Anita since the track opened the day after Christmas?”
    “Via his bookie?”
    Renie nodded. “He calls the guy his stockbroker. Maybe he’s that, too. Who knows with Uncle Al.”
    “Not me,” Judith said as they moved on to the meat-and-seafood department. “So what’s with this patient who’s being harassed?”
    “Oh . . .” Renie paused where turkey parts were on sale. “Wings, drumsticks. Good. I’ll freeze them until Bill and I stop gobbling from Christmas and Thanksgiving.” She moved on past chicken and duck.
    “Wait, coz,” Judith said. “I think I’ll do something that clucks. Tell me about the patient Joe is supposed to take on as a client.”
    Renie shot her cousin a disparaging look. “You know Bill never talks