All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, Read Online Free PDF

because the hard-ons help him make money." Dave grinned proudly and continued, "Matt says that I should teach masturbation at the college level.
     
    "He's a nice kid, but typical Generation X. He can't figure out what to do with himself," Dave said, taking another sip of gin and tonic. "So, what were you saying about school? I'm the type of person who can start a conversation, walk away, and then pick it up ten years later without missing a beat."
    "Oh, I was just saying that I'm sorta here for school. I'm in grad school and I'm studying the clubs for my master's thesis."
    "Really?"
    "I know it sounds weird."
    "The people at your school allow you to do that?"
    "Yeah, it's all about understanding sexual subcultures, yadda yadda yadda. I'm interviewing a bunch of dancers about why they strip."
    "What do they say?"
    "Well, it's complicated. But most of them say they just do it for money."
    "Yep, I've heard that, too. But let's face it, there are a lot of other ways to make money. You can do construction, hang drywall, or whatever. You don't have to take off your clothes for money and let guys play around with you."
    "Yeah, I guess."
    One of the things I'd noticed since starting my research is that so many people, even those who'd never stepped foot in a strip club, felt they knew exactly why people chose to strip, and these homegrown theories almost always contradicted what the strippers themselves had to say.
    Dave said, "Now one of the things I've heard is, 'Where can I make this much money in so few hours and at the same time have people buy me drinks and I can drink on the job?'"
    "You don't believe that?"
    "I think money is part of it. But some of these guys are really narcissistic, really into themselves. So I think that exhibitionism is another big factor. But the really big reason is that a lot of these guys just need attention. A lot of them are starved for love and affection. Many I've talked to come from broken homes and they want that approval from you in the worst way."
    "What makes you think that?"
    "Well, an example is the way they'll come over and flex their muscles for you. It's like a little kid showing off for Daddy. I think I'm a father figure to some of them. There's this one guy, a cute kid, whose father was an abusive alcoholic who was in the military. It sounded like the dad probably beat him a lot. And here I am, this older guy who will listen to him and not be judgmental. You can tell it strikes a chord with him."
    "And what do you get out of it?"
    "I sometimes explain it to my other gay friends like this. Going to a regular gay bar is a lot like fishing. You have to spend four or five hours hoping that you're gonna get one fish that wants your hook. But by coming here, I can eliminate all of that. I know that there will be some hot young guys and I can stroke them. And stroking dicks is probably my favorite form of sex. I love doing it. There's nothing more satisfying to me than playing with another guy's dick. I really get a kick out of making another guy feel good. So by coming to the clubs, I'm guaranteed to be able to get what I'm looking for, and I can do it within a very narrow time frame."
    "So, it's efficient?"
    "Exactly."
     

5
    After my first talk with Dave, I started running into him nearly every week. We'd sit next to each other and share observations on our favorite dancers. Dave was partial to Peter, a cherubic twenty-one-year-old former wrestler prone to earnestly spewing archaic phrases like "Thank you kindly" and "Much appreciated" every time he was tipped.
    "He's such a sweet kid," Dave once said. "I love him to death. I still like that eighteen-to-twenty-four-year-old look, like a teenager just starting to become a man. That's where I'm sexually frozen in time."
    As we got to know each other better, Dave slowly revealed to me how he'd gone from being this seemingly straight guy who was married for more than two decades to becoming a gay strip club regular. His story was just another