Alice & Dorothy Read Online Free PDF Page B

one. The teapots were arranged in essentially the same setup that the three were sitting in now. “You guys just sit here and drink tea all day? Is that why this table is full of teapots?”
     
    The Hater rolled his eyes.
     
    “No, not all day,” he said. “Tea is at 6 o’clock. Since it is six o’clock, we must have tea.”
     
    “We’re supposed to wash up after tea,” said the March Hare, “but that time hasn’t arrived yet.”
     
    “I don’t get it,” said Alice. “Why don’t you just go do something else?”
     
    “Because,” the Hater said, lightning flashing across his face. “ It’s 6 o’clock! Why can’t your deranged little girl-brain get a handle on this? We don’t drink tea because it’s 6 o’clock, we do it because at 6 o’clock we must have tea .”
     
    “Good God,” said the Dormouse. “This again? How terribly boring. Thought you had it figured out by now.”
     
    “Enough,” said the March Hare. “I think this fair-haired child of Eve should tell us a tale.”
     
    “What?” asked Alice. “I don’t know anything.”
     
    “Then the Dormouse shall!” the Mad Hater screamed, bringing his hand down in an arc. The silver butter knife he’d palmed up his sleeve earlier reappeared in his hand, flashing in the yellow sunshine.
     
    The knife went into the Dormouse’s forearm, causing the creature to shriek demonically. Black tar spurted from the wound, splashing The Hater’s face. The Hater laughed until his eyes bulged, face going from ivory to red to purple.
     
    “I told you about that,” the Dormouse hissed, cradling his wounded arm. “Now I’m going to pull your spine out and crack each bone with my teeth.”
     
    “I should love to see it,” the Hater shrieked, his harsh, coughing laugh setting lose strands of drool from his mouth. “I should loooooove it.”
     
    The Dormouse wrenched the knife from his arm and held up to the Hater’s face, pushed the blade against the skin at the corner of his eye. Ebon blood marred the Hater’s perfect ceramic skin, which puckered around the spot where the Dormouse was holding the knife to his face.
     
    “ Ahh yes ,” The Hater said, his mouth open in an unnatural grin. He ran his tongue across the bottom of his teeth. His breath escaped like the hissing of a punctured tire.
     
    The Dormouse moved as though he was going to punch the Hater in the face with his other hand, then, at the last moment turned and flicked his wrist. There was a flash of blood and something flew from the Hater’s face into an empty teacup.
     
    The Hater burst into his hysterical, shrieking donkey laugh again. He clutched at his face and sucked big gutfuls of air as tar ran down his cheek. The Dormouse smiled, winked at Alice, and threw a ceramic shard from the Hater’s broken teacup onto the table. The jagged edge had a bright smear of blood, across the bottom half of it. He reached into his teacup with the same hand, and came up with one of the Hater’s perfect teeth. There was blood and meat clinging to the bottom of it, between the roots. He flicked it back into his teacup, where it plunked and rattled around before coming to rest at the bottom.
     
    “Oh, haha! You’re going to pay… haha! For that one,” said the Mad Hater, choking on spit. “Oh my little rodent companion, I’ll not soon forget this.”
     
    “Please,” said The March Hare. He held up his teacup and sighed. There was blood like spilled ink on the side of it. “Can we shift down a seat please? I should like a clean cup.”
     
    “Yes, let’s,” said The Hater. He grabbed a napkin, stuffed it in his mouth, then pulled a silk handkerchief and dabbed the blood from his face.
     
    The three of them stood up and moved down one seat, closer to Alice. Now The March Hare was sitting at a fresh spread, while the Dormouse was sitting at The March Hare’s old spot, and The Hater had taken the spot previously occupied by the Dormouse. The March Hare helped himself to