Alexander Outland: Space Pirate Read Online Free PDF Page B

himself, us, the ship, or what?”
    The Governor actually looked embarrassed. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Ah… I think it would be… safe… to say that it’s all of the above.”
    “Please, Governor, just tell me this one thing—is whatever ‘it’ is going to break or even bend any Herion laws?”
    “Only if they’re new laws since our last visit.” The Governor grabbed the placard. “No non-speaking, non-sentient, non-taxpaying creatures allowed out of quarantine… no imports not listed on the Herion Exchange… no removal of any Herion natural resources, including anything made with at least one Herion natural resource, other than those approved by the Herion council….” He kept on reading. “No, Alexander. I only see new laws pertaining to trade, tariffs and other economic issues. None having to do with, ah, Randolph’s, erm, creation.”
    “Creation?”
    As I asked this I heard the sound of running feet, two pairs. One
sounded like Randolph—spend half your lives together, and you learn how the other sounds when running for said lives. Or maybe we were just lucky that way.
    The other pair, though, sounded odd. Metallic and heavy, and yet, fast.
    We turned and looked to see Randolph return. And, lucky me, he wasn’t alone.

CHAPTER 10
    R andolph ran in, dragging along what looked like a woman.
    He was holding her hand. Only, she wasn’t a woman, in the sense that I’d ever met one. Because she was metallic.
    The Governor had been prepared. But Slinkie and I hadn’t been. We both stared. I felt my mouth go dry and realized my jaw was hanging open. So was Slinkie’s. I slammed mine shut and took the opportunity to gently close hers. She had soft, smooth skin, the kind you wanted to rub your whole body against, all the time.
    She rammed her elbow into my ribs and I stopped stroking her face. I also focused back on the matter at hand. My Chief Mechanic had created his own Sexbot.
    Audrey, as I knew we would all need to call her, wasn’t bad, all things considered. If you didn’t mind that she was sort of reflective, she was pretty nice to look at. Platinum blonde hair, done in a sort of wavy bob, hourglass figure, pretty face. She was in a white halter dress that went down to just under her knees.
    Randolph beamed at us. “Everyone, this is Audrey.”
    “We guessed. So, the auto-help program is, what, in Audrey’s brain?” I thought I was taking this very well.
    Audrey smiled. It was eerie. Her teeth were also metallic. I figured I needed to have a serious talk with Randolph about what sexual
acts to avoid, pronto. “In a sense, Captain.” Her voice was the same as always, calm and soothing. It still felt like nails on a chalkboard to me. “I am an expansion of the auto-help program. My Randolph has made many important enhancements, so I now have much more capability and can be a more full-fledged member of the crew.”
    “We may have to pay taxes on her,” the Governor whispered. He was looking at the placard again. “Not sure if she falls under Herion’s definition of ‘creature’.”
    “I’m so excited I almost can’t stand it. Audrey, please, have a seat. Randolph, can I have a word with you in private?”
    Audrey settled next to the Governor, who didn’t seem to object. Of course not. He had the hottest humanoid woman and, I’d guess, the hottest robotic woman in the galaxy with him. How the old geezer always managed this, I never knew, and he never felt the need to share.
    Made sure Randolph and I were in a corner of the bar, far away from anyone. “Are you out of your mind? How hard up are you? I mean, there are even sex partners for hire on Herion.”
    “I didn’t help Audrey achieve her full personhood to have sex with her.” Randolph sounded offended.
    “You don’t have or want to have sex with her?” I was now wondering just how far and how bad Randolph’s insanity went. Achieve her full personhood? Who said, let alone thought, things like