both were dissatisfied . I could read it in Brad's face, and I regretted not enjoying myself properly.
I shouldn't care about who Brad was sleeping with. The year was almost over, this had been a smart career move, and I'd be on my way pretty soon.
Chapter Six
Friday night, I went out with a bunch of friends from college. I wouldn't be coming back in fall - I'd gotten into NYU and I'd be going there. But we all wanted to stay in touch, and we proceeded to laugh and talk raucously through dinner. I had a few drinks, but I decided not to follow the kids who went clubbing afterwards - I'd been too old for the club scene for a while now.
I got home and found Brad sitting on the bed, flipping through his smartphone .
"What're you looking at?" I asked.
He showed me silently. Photos of us, taken just a few days ago in Paris .
I was in a good mood, and decided to be nice for our last few days together. "That was a good time, wasn't it?"
He stared at me blankly.
"I mean, it was a nice way to end our time together, right? We only have two more weeks…" I faltered, seeing his blank look.
His eyes looked at me without any expression, and f inally, he said slowly, "I should have seen it. I can't believe I was so blind, no w I understand why you're so happy to move on. "
I raised an eyebrow. " You're only figuring out now that I know about Naomi? Yeah, whatever." I wouldn't lose my cool.
He looked puzzled, "Naomi?" He shook his head. "No, I read your thing. About Clive."
And then I noticed the paper lying beside him.
I picked it up - it was a stupid poem I'd written for a creative writing assignment . It was all about my affair with a boy in my class named Clive and how the passionate lovemaking released me from the drudgery of my married life… It was so stupid that once I saw it in print, I knew I could never submit it. I hadn't realized it had been lying around all this time.
"It's dumb, huh?" I didn't realize why he was so upset over my bad writing. And then it struck me. "Oh no. Wait. You don't think … ?" I smiled sardonically and looked at him.
I would've laughed if I hadn't seen actual pain in his eyes. He'd been so nice to me, he'd helped me get into college and pick up the pieces of my life again. So what if he wanted to sleep with Naomi? I couldn't hurt his feelings like that .
I wanted to shake him like a leaf, shake some sense into him. But instead, I grabbed his arm and said, "Brad, don't be stupid, it's a dumb poem for a stupid English class. It's so dumb I couldn't even submit it."
He looked at me coolly and said, "It seems real enough."
"Are you kidding me?" I felt exasperated. " T here's no Clive, it 's a stupid made-up name ! Anyway, why do you care, you've got Naomi…" I covered my mouth as soon as the words slipped out. I didn't want to know the truth, I wanted to keep living in my fantasy.
"Yes, I have Naomi," he said, "But that 's not the same as Clive, clearly."
My anger flared up. "Oh right, because she's real and you two are all passionate and fucking your brains out?"
"That's a disgusting thing to say."
"Oh is it? Like you haven't been going up to her room wh en I'm asleep. You bang me and then go to her for seconds? " I started crying. " Do you meet her during the day? How could you do this to me? Why did you have to bring her here?" I couldn't control my sobs and I felt his arms around me. "I know it's all fake," I sobbed, "but maybe…"
My sobs took over, I couldn't continue and explain that even if it was fake, maybe he could pretend to be monogamous too?
He was stroking my hair now, and even though I hated him, the smooth gentle touch calmed me down a bit and brought me back to my senses . I need to preserve some dignity, I thought, and I wiped back the tears.
Brad held my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. They were serious and intent, and he said softly, "I'm sorry. I wanted to see if you cared or not."
I snapped my head back and looked at him in
I shouldn't care about who Brad was sleeping with. The year was almost over, this had been a smart career move, and I'd be on my way pretty soon.
Chapter Six
Friday night, I went out with a bunch of friends from college. I wouldn't be coming back in fall - I'd gotten into NYU and I'd be going there. But we all wanted to stay in touch, and we proceeded to laugh and talk raucously through dinner. I had a few drinks, but I decided not to follow the kids who went clubbing afterwards - I'd been too old for the club scene for a while now.
I got home and found Brad sitting on the bed, flipping through his smartphone .
"What're you looking at?" I asked.
He showed me silently. Photos of us, taken just a few days ago in Paris .
I was in a good mood, and decided to be nice for our last few days together. "That was a good time, wasn't it?"
He stared at me blankly.
"I mean, it was a nice way to end our time together, right? We only have two more weeks…" I faltered, seeing his blank look.
His eyes looked at me without any expression, and f inally, he said slowly, "I should have seen it. I can't believe I was so blind, no w I understand why you're so happy to move on. "
I raised an eyebrow. " You're only figuring out now that I know about Naomi? Yeah, whatever." I wouldn't lose my cool.
He looked puzzled, "Naomi?" He shook his head. "No, I read your thing. About Clive."
And then I noticed the paper lying beside him.
I picked it up - it was a stupid poem I'd written for a creative writing assignment . It was all about my affair with a boy in my class named Clive and how the passionate lovemaking released me from the drudgery of my married life… It was so stupid that once I saw it in print, I knew I could never submit it. I hadn't realized it had been lying around all this time.
"It's dumb, huh?" I didn't realize why he was so upset over my bad writing. And then it struck me. "Oh no. Wait. You don't think … ?" I smiled sardonically and looked at him.
I would've laughed if I hadn't seen actual pain in his eyes. He'd been so nice to me, he'd helped me get into college and pick up the pieces of my life again. So what if he wanted to sleep with Naomi? I couldn't hurt his feelings like that .
I wanted to shake him like a leaf, shake some sense into him. But instead, I grabbed his arm and said, "Brad, don't be stupid, it's a dumb poem for a stupid English class. It's so dumb I couldn't even submit it."
He looked at me coolly and said, "It seems real enough."
"Are you kidding me?" I felt exasperated. " T here's no Clive, it 's a stupid made-up name ! Anyway, why do you care, you've got Naomi…" I covered my mouth as soon as the words slipped out. I didn't want to know the truth, I wanted to keep living in my fantasy.
"Yes, I have Naomi," he said, "But that 's not the same as Clive, clearly."
My anger flared up. "Oh right, because she's real and you two are all passionate and fucking your brains out?"
"That's a disgusting thing to say."
"Oh is it? Like you haven't been going up to her room wh en I'm asleep. You bang me and then go to her for seconds? " I started crying. " Do you meet her during the day? How could you do this to me? Why did you have to bring her here?" I couldn't control my sobs and I felt his arms around me. "I know it's all fake," I sobbed, "but maybe…"
My sobs took over, I couldn't continue and explain that even if it was fake, maybe he could pretend to be monogamous too?
He was stroking my hair now, and even though I hated him, the smooth gentle touch calmed me down a bit and brought me back to my senses . I need to preserve some dignity, I thought, and I wiped back the tears.
Brad held my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. They were serious and intent, and he said softly, "I'm sorry. I wanted to see if you cared or not."
I snapped my head back and looked at him in
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