Afraid to Love Read Online Free PDF

he laughed.
    I rolled my eyes, but smiled at him.
    The rest of our casual meeting went well. Mark was the most entertaining person I had ever met. I left the coffee shop smiling and laughing.
    When I got home, I ran myself a warm bath and grabbed my phone. I was still thinking about Mark and the incident at work was all but forgotten, but I wanted to talk to Sasha. I needed to hear her tell me how stupid I had been to agree to go out on a real date with Mark. I needed someone to tell me to pull my head out of my ass. He was white and that meant we were never going to work out.
    I pressed three on the speed dial and waited for her to answer.
    “So you finally called me?” she laughed in greeting.
    “I've been busy,” I said and rolled my eyes.
    “Who was the hottie who had your phone?” she asked.
    “You didn't see him,” I said, “how do you know he's hot?”
    “Because you always attract the hot guys,” Sasha sighed.
    “I do not,” I laughed.
    “Yes, you do,” she said, “you're just too busy to notice them, but anyway, who is this Mark?”
    “A guy I met at the cafe,” I told her.
    “And?” she asked.
    “And what?” I asked.
    “How long have you known him?” Sasha asked.
    “Just met him on Monday,” I said.
    “Yes, but you like him,” she teased.
    “I barely know him!” I said.
    “Yes, but you barely knew me when we first met too, and now we're best friends,” she said.
    “True, but he's white,” I sighed.
    “So what?” Sasha asked.
    This conversation wasn't going the way I had planned.
    “Dad wouldn't have liked him,” I said.
    “Yes, but he's not trying to date your dad,” Sasha laughed.
    “True,” she sighed, “but I always wanted a man he'd be proud of.”
    “But would that make you happy?” Sasha asked.
    “I don't know,” I admitted.
    By the time we got off the phone, I was mad at her. Why couldn't she just tell me what I wanted to hear? I already knew the answer to that question. Sasha never told anyone what they wanted to hear. She told them what she really thought.
    I flopped onto my bed naked and stared at the ceiling. What the hell was I getting myself into? After a half an hour of staring into the darkness, I realized I wasn't as tired as I had thought before I lay down. I sat up and stretched, enjoying the tension leaving my stressed out muscles. I wasn't sure what to do so I headed downstairs and turned on my laptop. I didn't use it much now that I had finished school, but I kept it to play around on when I couldn't sleep.
    Upon opening the browser, I remembered I promised Mark that I'd check out his website. I sprinted into the kitchen and retrieved the napkin with the information out of my purse and returned to the computer.
    I typed in the web address, but I wasn't expecting much. I tapped my fingernails against the desk as I waited for the page to load. I had gotten my internet as part of a bundled deal and found out that I got what I paid for it. It was cheap and I hardly used it, so I considered it a fair compromise. Besides, it would ensure I wasn't tempted to waste large quantities of time sitting in front of the computer.
    When the site finally loaded, it looked a lot nicer than I expected. It looked good enough that I wondered if Mark had awesome computer skills or if he had hired someone to design and run it for him. I skipped the personal bio stuff, because I never believed that writers tell the truth in those anyway. I searched around for a few seconds and found the page that talked about his books. Mark hadn't been lying about being a writer. His website listed eight books, the earliest of which was written almost ten years ago.
    I read through its description and was pleasantly surprised. It sounded to me like a science fiction book that held a lot of commentary on what Mark thought about the real world. Maybe it would give me more insight into the man who captured my attention. When I realized I was grinning like a fool, I nearly hit the little X to