Adopted Parents Read Online Free PDF Page B

any other distractions. As she gets older, siblings would actually be a benefit to her.”
    Deb paused and considered Hallie and Nate. “I’ve been referring to parents in general so far. It’s quite likely you’ll want Ahn’s prospective parents to mirror what she had—a mother who stays at home and a father who works out of the house. If that’s the case, here are some things to look for. The best father for Ahn won’t travel, and will be at home at night. All children need a strong male presence, but Ahn needs consistency. A father she sees only on weekends can’t provide that. Nor can a workaholic father. Ahn needs a father who is willing to be one hundred percent involved in her overall care. And she needs a father who wants a child because he’s ready to be a father, and not because his wife wants to be a mother.”
    She paused again. “To put it bluntly, more than half of the adoptive fathers I work with go through the adoption process only to please their wives.” She looked at Nate. “I can assure you, your brother wasn’t one of them. David was one of the most committed fathers I’ve ever worked with. Ahn was shy and withdrawn around him at first, but she quickly became attached. In order to lessen the void Ahn feels in her life right now, it would help if you filled in so she still has that strong male presence and will be better able to bond with her new father.”
    “I’m confused,” Hallie said. “How do you expect us to determine whether a man is ready to be a father for the right reasons? It isn’t likely he’s going to admit that to us even if we asked.”
    “True,” Deb said. “Hopefully you’ll pick up on any red flags when you meet the applicants face-to-face.”
    Hallie had no reply—she was too overwhelmed.
    Dammit, where had her mind been? Why hadn’t she realized before now how hard choosing parents for Ahn was going be? How much was at stake?
    Of course, Hallie already knew the answer.
    Until now she’d seen her role as a supervisory one, directing other people the way she did on the job. But she’d never envisioned herself doing all the tasks Janet had on a daily basis.
    “That takes care of most of the form,” Dr. Langston said, checking a few more boxes. “These last four questions are ones the two of you need to answer based on your personal preferences. They have nothing to do with my professional opinion.”
    She poised her pen over the paper. “Are you open to older parents? Or do you prefer younger parents?”
    “Mid- to late-thirties, I guess,” Nate said, looking over at Hallie. “The same age as David and Janet?”
    “I agree,” Hallie said.
    “Number of years you feel the couple should be married?”
    “At least five years?” Hallie suggested.
    Nate nodded.
    “The lowest income level you’d consider?”
    “No lower than two-fifty a year,” Nate said without even asking Hallie. “Otherwise the new parents won’t be able to provide Ahn with whatever extra help she needs.”
    “I agree,” Dr. Langston said. “At this point there’s no way to tell if Ahn is going to need additional counseling and therapy on a long-term basis.”
    She looked back down at the form. “Are you open to out-of-state applicants?”
    “I’d prefer in-state applicants,” Hallie said. “Or at least applicants who live in and around our neighboring northeastern states. I’m retaining my right to stay in touch with Ahn after the adoption. The less distance between us, the easier that will be.”
    Dr. Langston was bold enough to say, “Really? That surprises me since you’re so determined to have a nanny.”
    “I may not be the mommy type, but Ahn is my niece. The adoption isn’t going to change that as far as I’m concerned.”
    Dr. Langston finished making her notations on the form. “That concludes the questionnaire,” she said, handing the form across the desk. “And for what it’s worth, I think Ahn is a lucky little girl to have you for an aunt,