Act of God Read Online Free PDF Page B

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    I said, “Tell you what. Go out and move the car to a legal space, then bring back the blanket.”
    Nancy climbed over the bureau and left, returning two minutes later, blanket in hand.
    “Okay, now what I want you to do is put the blanket on the next step, and we’ll use it as kind of a flat roller under the thing.”
    We tried that. A little easier to move it up the second step.
    “Nance?”
    “What?”
    “Let’s try it with the blanket again, but this time with the bureau on its side.”
    “That won’t scratch it?”
    “With the blanket, I don’t think so.”
    We got the dresser on its side and made better, but still slow, progress as I had to recover the blanket every two steps and toss it back up to Nancy, the strain on my shoulder, back, and legs pretty impressive. We finally covered the rest of the steps to the first landing. Halfway home.
    “John?”
    “Yes?”
    “My arms and legs are pretty tired.”
    “Blame it on your desk job.”
    We rested for five minutes, then started in again. It was harder after the rest, but we’d gotten only two steps from the top, from Nancy’s landing, when I heard her foot skid and her voice yell my name and her bottom hit the deck. The full weight of the bureau slammed into me, my left shoulder feeling as though someone had drawn a razor blade across guitar strings, my left knee buckling as I managed to stop the slide after only one step lost.
    “John, are you all right?”
    “My shoulder and knee aren’t great. You?”
    “I think I’m just going to have a bruise on my rear end. What should we do?”
    “Try to get this the rest of the way up.”
    “Can you?”
    “I think going up will be easier than sliding back down.”
    She heard something in my voice that made her say, “John, thank you for this.”
    Using my right shoulder this time, I managed to drive the dresser back up the remaining steps like it was a blocking sled on an inclined football field. At the top, we got it upright, and Nancy maneuvered around the thing to give me another hug.
    “That was above and beyond the call of duty, sir.”
    “I’ll remember that.”
    When Nancy opened the apartment door, her gray-tiger cat scuttled out. Renfield was getting used to his rear legs not working quite right from an operation he’d needed on them, so he could move crablike pretty well. The sight of the bureau at first intimidated him, making him hide under the kitchen table. Then, once we had it against the wall in the bedroom, he couldn’t get enough of it, sniffing and rubbing against the carved legs.
    I said, “A good thing you had his front claws removed.”
    “Yes, but you know how they have to do that.”
    “No.”
    “They actually chop off the first knuckle of his toes.”
    “Hope they won’t have to do that with me.”
    “Why?” she said, slipping out of her shorts.
    “Because of the grievous injuries I suffered on your staircase.”
    “Yeah, right.”
    “I mean it, Nance. This may have to go to court.”
    “Forget it. The legal fees would eat you alive.”
    “I could represent myself.”
    A laugh.
    I said, “Does that mean that if I represented myself I’d have a fool for a client?”
    Nancy undid the buttons on her blouse. “John, anybody who represented you would have a fool for a client.”
    “Care to kiss a fool?”
    “And then some.” She opened the blouse and reached both arms up and around my neck. When she applied a little pressure on my left side, the shoulder twinged and the knee started to buckle again.
    Breaking the kiss, Nancy said, “What’s the matter?”
    “My shoulder and my knee can’t seem to take much weight.”
    She canted her head. “Does that mean no hanky-panky for the assistant D. A. tonight?”
    “That may depend.”
    “On what?”
    “On how much you remember about playing the clarinet.”
    Nancy canted her head the other way. “John Francis Cuddy, I do believe that is the raciest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
    “The