Abuse, Trauma, and Torture - Their Consequences and Effects Read Online Free PDF

of his "staff" are Secondary Sources of Narcissistic
Supply . Their role is to
accumulate the supply (remember events that support the grandiose
self-image of the narcissist) and to regulate the Narcissistic
Supply of the narcissist during dry spells - to adulate, adore,
admire, agree, provide attention and approval, and, generally,
serve as an audience to him.
    The staff (or should we say
"stuff"?) is supposed to remain passive. The narcissist is not
interested in anything but the simplest function of mirroring. When
the mirror acquires a personality and a life of its own, the
narcissist is incensed. When independent minded, an employee might
be in danger of being sacked by his narcissistic employer (an act
which demonstrates the employer's omnipotence).
    The employee's presumption to be
the employer's equal by trying to befriend him (friendship is
possible only among equals) injures the employer narcissistically.
He is willing to accept his employees as underlings, whose very
position serves to support his grandiose fantasies.
    But his grandiosity is so tenuous
and rests on such fragile foundations, that any hint of equality,
disagreement or need (any intimation that the narcissist "needs"
friends, for instance) threatens the narcissist profoundly. The
narcissist is exceedingly insecure. It is easy to destabilise his
impromptu "personality". His reactions are merely in
self-defence.
    Classic narcissistic
behaviour is when idealisation is followed by devaluation. The
devaluing attitude develops as a result of disagreements or simply
because time has eroded the employee's capacity to serve as
a FRESH Source of Supply.
    The veteran employee, now taken
for granted by his narcissistic employer, becomes uninspiring as a
source of adulation, admiration and attention. The narcissist
always seeks new thrills and stimuli.
    The narcissist is notorious for
his low threshold of resistance to boredom. His behaviour is
impulsive and his biography tumultuous precisely because of his
need to introduce uncertainty and risk to what he regards as
"stagnation" or "slow death" (i.e., routine). Most interactions in
the workplace are part of the rut – and thus constitute a reminder
of this routine – deflating the narcissist's grandiose
fantasies.
    Narcissists do many unnecessary,
wrong and even dangerous things in pursuit of the stabilisation of
their inflated self-image.
    Narcissists feel suffocated
by intimacy, or by the constant reminders of the REAL ,
nitty-gritty world out there. It reduces them, makes them realise
the Grandiosity Gap between their fantasies and reality. It is a
threat to the precarious balance of their personality structures
("false" and invented) and treated by them as a
menace.
    Narcissists forever shift the
blame, pass the buck, and engage in cognitive dissonance. They
"pathologize" the other, foster feelings of guilt and shame in her,
demean, debase and humiliate in order to preserve their sense of
superiority.
    Narcissists are
pathological liars. They think nothing of it because their very
self is false , their
own confabulation .
    Here are a few useful
guidelines:
Never disagree with the
narcissist or contradict him;
Never offer him any
intimacy;
Look awed by whatever attribute
matters to him (for instance: by his professional achievements or
by his good looks, or by his success with women and so
on);
Never remind him of life
out there and if you do, connect it somehow to his sense of
grandiosity. You can aggrandize even your office supplies, the most
mundane thing conceivable by saying: "These are the BEST art
materials ANY workplace is going to have", "We get them EXCLUSIVELY ", etc.;
Do not make any comment, which
might directly or indirectly impinge on the narcissist's
self-image, omnipotence, superior judgement, omniscience, skills,
capabilities, professional record, or even omnipresence. Bad
sentences start with: "I think you overlooked … made a mistake here
… you don't know … do you know … you were