Abigail's New Hope Read Online Free PDF Page B

She didn’t talk much about those appointments, but that was just her way—she didn’t talk a whole lot about anything.”
    Iris nodded, her lips stretched to a thin line.
    Nathan drew in a deep breath before continuing. “I thought the doctor would give her advice on how to…hurry things along.” His breath caught, but he fought down the lump that had risen in his throat. “But that doctor told her she shouldn’t
ever
get pregnant. That having a baby could jeopardize her life and probably cost the
boppli
’s life as well.” His voice broke as emotion welled up against his resolve. “That’s what the doctors had told her, but she didn’t tell me any of this until afterward.”
    He lurched to his feet and stumbled to the sink. With the memory of that conversation, his feelings of helplessness and regret flooded back. He stared out the window at fields turning the color of lavender as the sun dropped below the western hills.
    “When did your wife finally tell you?”
    “After she was already carrying our child.” He gripped the edge of the counter so hard his fingers began to cramp. “I would have said forget about
boppli
or we can adopt a child from somewhere. I never would have wanted her to take a chance with her life.”
    Silently, Iris crept up behind him and patted his back as though he were a child with a broken toy. “Of course you wouldn’t have. And that’s all the more reason why you can’t hold yourself responsible any more than Abby Graber. You didn’t know what the doctor had told her until she was already in a family way.”
    Nathan stared out the window as the evening star rose low in the sky. “She did this for me, Aunt. She sacrificed herself to make me happy.”
    “She did this because she wanted to have a child. She was willing to take a chance. After all, doctors don’t know everything. Only God ultimately decides our fate. We all live and die by His hand.”
    “I know that, but I just wished she had asked my opinion about the risk. I would have told her that
she
was enough for me. Even without
kinner
we could have had a good life together. I loved her. I loved her so much.”
    Iris patted his back once more but said nothing. What more was there to say? They could discuss the matter like
Englischers
until the rooster crowed tomorrow, but it wouldn’t change a thing.
    “Come to your bedroom and see your son. He fell asleep almost the moment I laid him down in the cradle. It was as though he knew that cradle had been carved by his
daed
and the tiny quilt sewed by his
mamm
.”
    Nathan felt his back turn rigid under the palm of Iris’ hand. “
My
bedroom? Why is his bed still in my bedroom? I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but you’ll be the one feeding and changing him and such. Don’t you think the cradle should be next to your bed instead of mine?”
    Iris walked around the table to set her mug in the sink. “That’s where I found the cradle, so that’s where I put him to sleep.” Her voice was little more than a whisper.
    “When he wakes up, I’ll move his bed into your room.” Nathan straightened his back and unclenched his hands, willing himself to relax.
    “Why don’t we go in there now? You could see him and we can move the bed together. I doubt that he’ll awaken, but if he does it’s almost time for his next feeding.”
    “No,” said Nathan without hesitation. “I saw what he looked like at the hospital. He hasn’t changed in the last six hours. I have animals to tend to in the barn. I can’t expect my friends and neighbors to do my chores forever. They have enough work of their own.” He strode to the door, and then he glanced over his shoulder at his tiny, gray-haired aunt, who couldn’t weigh more than a hundred pounds. “
Danki
for the coffee. And I’m obliged to you for also cleaning this place up. I know we left the house in a terrible state that night, and I apologize for that.”
    Her face seemed to melt, and he thought she might cry.