A White Room Read Online Free PDF

him?” I asked.
    “He seems fine enough, a little bit gangly, but other than that…”
    “He’s so quiet. I’m afraid I’m going to be bored.”
    “Boring is good.” James’ voice lifted.
    “How’s that?” I folded my arms atop my knees and laid my head down.
    “Boring is better than obnoxious. Boring means you’ll be married but not irritated.”
    I admired James’ soft boyish features and realized that his confidence made him seem very grown up. “Maybe I want more in marriage than to not be annoyed.”
    “I thought you didn’t want to get married?”
    “I don’t.”
    “Why is that again?”
    I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at him.
    “Well? Is it something about him?”
    “Promise you won’t laugh.”
    “I promise nothing unless under the threat of torture.”
    I gave him a stern look, the kind only an older sister can give—a look that threatened torture.
    “All right, all right, I promise.”
    “I kind of wanted…to work.”
    “Work?”
    I lifted my head. “You know, work, like what you’ll be doing soon.”
    “At a law firm?”
    “No.” I hesitated and blushed. “I kind of wanted to be a nurse.”
    “Really?” He grinned.
    I gave him another look.
    He raised his hands in defense. “I’m not laughing.” He put his hands down. “I didn’t know you liked medicine, is all.”
    “I couldn’t tell anyone, could I? Mother would faint.”
    “So you weren’t going to really pursue it.”
    “No, I was. At Grantville College I took classes. A lot of women are doing it.” I talked fast, excited. “I was waiting for the right time to ask…Father. He would have let me, I know it. Just…didn’t work out.”
    James lowered his eyes.
    “I don’t know.” I covered my face with my hands and then tore them away. “Obviously, I’m not going to be a nurse. I don’t mind John Dorr, or I didn’t until today. The problem is, I don’t want to move away from everyone. I never would have—it’s all a huge mistake.” I clenched my eyes shut and shook my head. “But I can’t take it back.” I leaned over and wrapped my hands around James’ waist. “I don’t know what to do. I want to stay with you.”
    He put his hand on my back. “Emma, you know we could never stay together forever. I’ll probably get hitched soon, and then where would you be?”
    I didn’t answer.
    “You’d just be a burden. Our family needs this. You’re doing the right thing.”
    “He’s going to take me away, though. I’m going to miss everyone so much.”
    “Even the three hens?” He snickered. He’d come up with the nickname for our three sisters because they had the ability to appear perfectly calm and together until something excited them into a flurry of noise and feathers.
    I smiled at the thought and smacked his knee. “This is serious!”
    “You know you’ll visit us, and when I’ve gotten settled into the firm, I’ll come out to see you all the time.”
    “Really?” I moved my head closer to his chest.
    “Yes.”
    I sat back up.
    “I know you’re scared, but Emma, this is what people do. You get married. You have children.”
    “ You don’t have to.”
    “Yes, I do.” His face hardened. “If I lived out on my own and didn’t get married, I would starve to death, but not before traipsing around in trousers full of holes.”
    I held back a giggle. “What?”
    “I don’t know how to do any of the ‘secret’ stuff you and Mother do. If someone threw me in a kitchen with everything I needed and a set of detailed instructions, I’d cook my own hand.”
    I laughed, nodding. “But you are moving out alone.”
    “And you can’t get mad if my trousers are uneven at your wedding.”
    I chuckled a little.
    “You need someone to take care of you, and John Dorr needs you to take care of him. I know he’s not everything you hoped for, but at least he’s not horrible. Just think what you could end up with if you don’t get married now.”
    I raised my eyebrows and