A Whisper to the Living Read Online Free PDF

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until dusk forced us to use the gas.
    I resented Eddie’s presence in my Dad’s chair, resented his presence in our house, the way he would put his feet up on the fireguard while my mother fetched him pint pots of thick, stewed tea and wedges of window pie. I had always loved window pie; it had been my favourite, made specially for me and only for me. Now I refused it, just as I refused to share anything with this man who had invaded my house, stolen my mother and spoiled my life.
    But this time, it was not going to be easy, for Eddie Higson held in his lap a beautiful ball of blue-grey fur, a tiny scrap of feline life that mewed and clawed gently at the man’s fingers.
    ‘It’s a little cat, Annie,’ he announced, his small deepset eyes narrowed in anticipation. Did he think I was daft or something? I’d seen cats before. My heart went out to the little creature. I longed to pick it up, stroke it and love it, make it my very own. It would love me in return, I knew it would.
    ‘It’s a Persian,’ said my mother. ‘Eddie’s paid a bob or two for that, I can tell you.’
    I knew what was expected of me. I knew what I wanted to do – I wanted to do the very thing that was required of me, to take the kitten, express my gratitude and forge a link that both he and my mother were waiting for – depending on, almost.
    I wandered to the dresser and picked up my copy of
Robinson Crusoe
, the one my father had bought for me during his last leave.
    ‘Well?’ enquired my mother. ‘Aren’t you going to thank Eddie for getting you such a pretty little cat? Smokey, he’s called.’
    I flicked through the pages of my brightly illustrated children’s version, then snapped the book shut loudly. ‘I don’t want a cat,’ I said, carefully avoiding looking at Smokey whom I wanted in that moment more than I’d ever wanted anything before in my life.
    ‘Bloody hell,’ cursed Higson. ‘There’s no pleasing some folk. What does she want, then?’ he enquired of my mother who simply raised her arms in a gesture of despair.
    ‘What do you want, then?’ he asked of me.
    I placed my book back on the dresser. ‘Nothing,’ I replied.
    ‘She bloody hates me, Nancy,’ he shouted, furious now. He hurled the kitten to the floor and I steeled myself not to flinch as its little body hit the peg rug. My breathing quickened and became shallow as that familiar feeling of anger and confusion rose in me, overwhelming me almost, filling my chest to bursting point. I had always known instinctively that this was a cruel and vicious man, but now the living (or dying) evidence lay at our feet, mewling piteously before the fire. I also knew that had I accepted the cat, his fate would have eventually been similar, for Higson would have used the animal to get at me sooner or later. I was full of hatred for Higson, full of contempt for my mother, who was stupid, so stupid not to see through this terrible man.
    She ran now and picked up the kitten, cradling it in her arms as she screamed at me. ‘Now look what you’ve done, Annie. Poor little thing.’ Obviously, she was blind as well as stupid. I took a slow and deliberate breath. ‘I didn’t do it, Mam. He did.’ I pointed an accusing finger at Eddie Higson. ‘He is a bad man,’ I announced. ‘And I don’t want him in my house.’
    Higson crossed the room in two strides and hit me full across the face with the flat of his hand. This was the first time he had hit me, but I knew, with an unwavering certainty, that it would not be the last, that should my mother marry this man, then I would suffer for a long time to come.
    ‘Don’t touch her,’ screamed my mother. ‘Don’t you ever hit her, Eddie.’
    Although my face smarted from the blow, I stood my ground as he glowered before me. ‘Don’t hit me again,’ I said quietly, simply repeating my mother’s words and staring full into his small, deep-sunken eyes.
    I never found out what happened to the little cat, but I wept