A Small Matter Read Online Free PDF

threatening to downgrade me
to one of the discount firms. Can you imagine a guy like me trying
to explain my life to some weenie at Charles Schwab?”
    “Mulroney, I’ve got a problem,” she said.
“I’m worried about Dalk. He’s never been smart with money like me,
and I won’t be around to take care of him. He’s got nothing but
past due credit card bills and he’s almost 40. He blew his peak
earning years in Japan learning how to tap into his spiritual
essence or something, and as you may have guessed, they don’t pay a
whole lot in this town for that kind of skill. Even his job with
the Department is on a consultant basis--he’s not a for-real cop. I
wish they’d at least make him a permanent employee so he could get
a pension and health benefits.”
    “Dalk really helps the officers he trains,”
Mulroney said. “He helps them overcome the bad habits they’ve
picked up which could get them killed. He deserves a secure
position within the Department. His self-defense seminars have
created a lot of respect for him. A couple of times, he’s pointed
out better ways to do things which have gotten the old policies
changed. I can call somebody inside the Department and secure him a
position, if you’d like me to. I still have a few favors owed
me.”
    “I’d like that,” Vickie said, “But don’t tell
me anybody owes you any favors. You’re a crusty old goat who knows
where all the bodies are buried in the Department.”
    “It’s a tribal thing,” he said. “I came of
age as a cop before the PD went PC. Most of the bodies that lie
buried, I buried myself on behalf of someone else. It so happens
that those someone else’s are running things now. My experience
from the dinosaur days entitles me to lifetime pimping privileges
among the Department higher-ups, never mind that mealy-mouthed
sorry excuse of a Chief they brought in from out-of-state to
pressure all the righteous cops into early retirements.”
    “There’s one more thing,” Vickie said. “I’m
not sure how you’re going to take this, but as far as my money
goes, I plan to leave it all to Dalk. He’s all the family I’ve got
left. I don’t think Dalk is capable of building any wealth on his
own--he’s the type to donate everything to some Buddhist temple
nobody’s ever heard of, where it somehow winds up in a politician's
pockets.”
    “I think it’s beautiful that you’re going to
take care of your baby brother,” Mulroney said. “That’s what
families are for. As far as us getting hitched, I’ll sign a prenup.
That way there won’t be any cloud over Dalk’s inheritance.”
    “You’d do that for me?” she said. “You’d sign
a prenup?”
    “I love you,” he said. “It’s not about money.
If you owed a million, I’d pay it to have you.”
    She laughed softly at his concern. “You’re a
knight in shining armor, Mulroney,” she said. “You’re
well-documented proof that cops have never evolved beyond the
archaic traditions and social standards set up all those thousands
of years ago, when everything important was set in stone.”
    “No,” he said. “Don’t judge me harshly. Even
though I have made a couple of attempts in the past to find the
Holy Grail, I’m still very much a millennial man. When it comes to
relationships with the opposite sex, I’m very flexible--I consider
myself very modern. You might even call me a feminist’s dream.”
    “To set the record straight,” Vickie said,
“you’re every feminist’s nightmare--but I love you anyway. I want
you to look before you leap, because a few days from now, when I
waft down the aisle in my virginal-white gown, pledging a lifetime
of devotion and love to you, there’ll be no need for a prenup
because I’ll already be flat broke.”
    “Come again?”
    “I’ll explain on the way. Right now, I want
you to re-cage this family-style pet of yours and start the car.
Second, when you hit the bottom of the hill, turn south on
Sepulveda towards the