A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator Read Online Free PDF

in pinstripes," said Klaus, who could lie as well as his sister, when the need arose. "I really appreciate this gift." "And Sunny," Jerome said, "was going to be given a large square made of bronze. It would have been attractive, and easily bitable." "Ayjim," Sunny said. She meant something along the lines of "I love my suit. Thank you very much," even though she didn't mean it one bit. "I know we discussed buying those silly items," Esme said, with a wave of her long-nailed hand, "but tools have been out for weeks, almanacs have been out for months, and I received a phone call this afternoon informing me that large bronze squares are not expected to be in for at least another year. What's in now is pinstripes, Jerome, and I don't appreciate your trying to teach my new children that they should ignore what's in and what's out. Don't you want what's best for the orphans?" "Of course," Jerome sighed. "I hadn't thought of it that way, Esme. Well, children, I do hope you like your gifts, even though they don't exactly match up with your interests. Why don't you go change into your new suits, and we'll wear them to dinner?" "Oh, yes!" Esme said. "Cafe Salmonella is one of the innest restaurants. In fact, I think they don't even let you eat there if you're not wearing pinstripes, so go change. But hurry up! Gunther is due to arrive any minute." "We'll hurry," Klaus promised, "and thank you again for our gifts." "You're very welcome," Jerome said with a smile, and the children smiled back at him, walked out of the living room, down a long hallway, across a kitchen, through another living room, past four bathrooms, and so on and so on and so on, eventually finding their way to their bedrooms. They stood together for a minute outside the three bedroom doors, looking sadly into their shopping bags. "I don't know how we're going to wear these things," Violet said. "I don't either," Klaus said. "And it's all the worse knowing that we almost got presents we really want." "Puictiw," Sunny agreed glumly. "Listen to us," Violet said. "We sound hopelessly spoiled. We're living in an enormous apartment. We each have our own room. The doorman has promised to watch out for Count Olaf, and at least one of our new guardians is an interesting person. And yet we're standing here complaining." "You're right," Klaus said. "We should make the best of things. Getting a lousy present isn't really worth complaining over--not when our friends are in such terrible danger. We're really very lucky to be here at all." "Chittol," Sunny said, which meant something like "That's true. We should stop complaining and go change into our new outfits." The Baudelaires stood together for another moment and nodded resolutely, a phrase which here means "tried to make themselves stop feeling ungrateful and put on the suits." But even though they didn't want to seem spoiled, even though they knew their situation was not a terrible one at all, and even though they had less than an hour to change into the suits, find Jerome, and walk down all those hundreds and hundreds of stairs, the three children could not seem to move. They simply stood in front of their bedroom doors and stared into their bags from the In Boutique. "Of course," Klaus said finally, "no matter how lucky we are, the fact remains that these pinstripe suits are entirely too big for us." Klaus spoke the truth. It was a truth that might help you understand why the Baudelaires were so disappointed with what was in their bags. It was a truth that might help you understand why the Baudelaires were so reluctant to go into their rooms and change into their pinstripe suits. And it was a truth that became even more obvious when the Baudelaires finally went into their rooms, and opened their bags and put on the gifts that Esme had given them. It is often difficult to tell if a piece of clothing will fit you or not until you try it on, but the Baudelaire children could tell the instant they first looked into the shopping