A Reason To Stay Read Online Free PDF

to say. She would gladly take these moments of shrapnel and ashes to work on her rebuttal.
    He held her in his blue-eyed trance and the light squeeze of his large hands. The thought of his delicious lips kept drawing her eyes to his mouth. The five o’clock shadow on his face gave bristles to his cheeks, making him look more rugged than he actually was.
    “I don’t see myself with anyone else in this world.”
    Elise shifted, fidgeted, and sighed, all at the same time.
    Darren laughed. “Is it that uncomfortable for you to talk about us?”
    At this point, she’d be more comfortable standing in a bear cage wearing meat for clothing. “It’s not a topic I love to discuss.”
    “I’ve taken note about that. But why? I thought all girls longed for their guy to bring them roses and then declare their undying love.”
    “I guess you picked the wrong girl.” She said it, knowing this was soon going to end like all of her other relationships. Too close, too fast. Even if they had shared a flawless nine months together.
    “I didn’t pick the wrong girl.” His tone was determined and his eyes squinted seriousness. “I picked the right one. The one I see in my head before I go to sleep and the one I hope to wake up to for all the mornings I have yet to live.”
    Alert, alert, alert . Huge indicator words coming at warp speed. Dodge the bullets of forever and ever and run home. But she was home. He cheated, he was in her refuge. The place she came to after she ran away from whoever was trying to tie her down to the train tracks of eternity.
    She scratched her head, trying to bide time for the perfect response. Not too cold, not too jilted, just enough to squirm away until she could avoid him long enough to forget her.
    “I’m not ready for more, right now.” She bit her lip, watching and waiting to see how he was swallowing her reply. When she saw nothing but his lifeless eyes and unmoving mouth, she pushed the blade in deeper and cringed. “I’m happy with what we have. I thought you were, too.” Ha , that was ingenious. Put him on the defense. Was he not happy?
    “I am happy. I just wanted to show you that I’m totally committed to you. I don’t want you to think...” His voice trailed. Was he unable to find the right words? “I know you, Elise.” He blurted it past the song and dance he had started. He seemed to be moving in for the kill. “I know that anytime I talk about moving to the next step, your eyes glaze over and you find twelve reasons why you have to leave at that very moment.” Damn, he did know her.
    His hold moved to her forearm, as she closed her eyes, wishing this mental torment would end. Chinese water torture had nothing over on talk of feelings and emotional outbursts. Maybe if she tore her clothes off, he’d shut up and they could make it until tomorrow.
    “I want you to move in with me.” There, he said it. He might not have realized it, but he had tripped the switch for the imminent step in Operation Breakup. “What I really want to say is, ‘Will you marry me,’ but I think that would send you running away.”
    He waited, still holding tight to her. His buttercream lips stayed parted, his blue eyes shifted to neutral, and the musk had completely gone to her head. Her eyes glazed over. She was having an out-of-body experience. Finally, someone had trapped her. She just might pass out if he didn’t stop with all the ‘move-ins’ and ‘marry me’s.’ Maybe that would be enough for him to stop. A 9-1-1 call of unconsciousness would surely do the trick.
    Elise slid out of his grip and buried her face in her hands. Her underarms burned with spontaneous sweat. Silence loomed in the room like an unwelcomed guest. A flood of questions drowned all her senses. Why was she so messed up? Could she go through life blaming it all on her mom, or could she break this stupid genetic flaw and come to grips with why she always ran when someone got too close?
    She stood up and paced in the