A Pocketful of Rye Read Online Free PDF Page B

almost threw up. Did you know it, he thinks you’re quite marvellous?’
    â€˜Strange delusion, isn’t it?’
    â€˜I’m beginning to wonder. It does look as if you’d done some remarkably odd sort of things. I mean for instance, writing that essay just after you came out of gaol and winning the bursary …’
    There was nothing I could say to this, and a silence fell during which she seemed to study me with a scrutiny so unsettling that I said:
    â€˜Shall we get a move on with your collecting?’
    â€˜Let’s just take a walk.’ She jumped down from the gate. ‘The truth is I’m sick of all these ghastly ragged robins and bladderworts. And thanks to Frank I have enough to knock out Sister Philomena’s false teeth.’
    â€˜You want to?’
    â€˜Frequently.’
    â€˜What’s wrong with her?’
    â€˜Oh, just being herself.’ As we took the path into the wood, she went on: ‘Always nagging on propriety and that sort of stuff, making us wear shifts when we take a bath and looking me over as if I was going to have a baby.’ She broke off. ‘But let’s forget her. I get enough of her at school.’
    For a few moments we walked on in silence under the tall beech trees that fretted the sunlight on the winding green path. The wood was warm and deeply still. I could not believe that I was physically here with her, in this quiet secret place. Perhaps she felt this too, for she moved restlessly and suddenly laughed.
    â€˜Funny we’re doing this! And getting along quite nicely.’ She gave me a quick side-glance. ‘I really owe you an apology for being so beastly.’
    â€˜We didn’t get off to a very good start, did we?’
    â€˜It was my fault being so chippie at the station. I suppose I wanted to impress you.’
    â€˜You did,’ I said, with a sudden constriction of my heart. ‘I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen in my life.’
    She actually flushed and kept her eyes down.
    â€˜You see, Laurence,’ she paused awkwardly, unaware of the commotion aroused in me by her use of my first name. ‘It’s just that I’m so bound up in Frank that I sort of resented his being fond of anyone else. But I don’t now. If it means anything to you, and I don’t suppose it does, I really like you very much.’ She hesitated, still not looking at me. ‘I only hope you’ll like me.’
    Now my heart seemed to expand and fill my chest so that I could scarcely breath. With all the anguish of unsullied adolescence I managed to say:
    â€˜If you want to know, I fell in love with you the minute I set eyes on you.’
    She gave a shaky little laugh. ‘ You can’t possibly mean that. But it’s nice of you, Laurence. And a relief. I’ve been upset and sort of jumpy over our misunderstanding. I suppose,’ she added hurriedly, ‘because I felt it was upsetting Frank. He’s so … so scrupulous about everything.’
    â€˜Yes, he is.’
    â€˜Do you think … perhaps he’s a little too much that way?’
    â€˜What way?’
    â€˜Well … sort of strict about little things. Straitlaced. Just think, if you can believe it, all the time he and I have been up here by ourselves in this lovely wood he’s never once kissed me. He says we should wait till we’re properly engaged.’
    â€˜If only I’d had his chance.’
    Had I spoken these words and if so why had she not protested? Now my heart was thudding like a trip hammer. She was so close to me our arms touched as we moved slowly up the hill, a sudden contact that ran through every nerve in my body. Yet she made no effort to withdraw. Most disturbing of all there was the strange sensation of an answering emotion, an emanation that made my senses swim, an outreaching that sought with a nervous excitement for some long-frustrated fulfilment.
    â€˜Oh,