A Peculiar Connection Read Online Free PDF Page B

return.”
    She placed the brush on the dresser and gathered her robe close before kissing my cheek. “Lizzy, do you still dislike Mr. Darcy?”
    I hugged her and, in so doing, hid my expression. “I now think Mr. Darcy as good a man as I shall ever know. I just do not feel comfortable in his presence.”
    “Of course! I almost forgot he once asked for your hand in marriage. That was so long ago, but I suppose it is awkward if he still harbours feelings for you.”
    I held my breath for a moment, afraid of revealing the truth even to Jane. “I am certain his feelings were conquered the moment I refused him in such an abominable way. It would be impossible for him ever to think of me in that manner again.”
    “Then what is it? Are you afraid his sister has changed her opinion of you? You said she was most agreeable when you met at Pemberley.”
    “She was, but last summer, she had only to acknowledge me as an acquaintance, not as a distant relation possibly hoping to better her situation.”
    Jane looked thoughtful as she walked around the other side of the bed. “I believe you are mistaken. You told me how protective Mr. Darcy is of his sister. He would not have offered to render a settlement if he thought it might disturb Miss Darcy.”
    “It does not signify now. I have refused his offer, and that is the last we shall ever see of him. Good night, Jane.”
    “Good night, Lizzy, but do not make statements you cannot support. I have it on good authority that Mr. Darcy will attend my wedding.” With a smile, she climbed into the bed and blew out the candle on the table beside her.
    Oh, no! Why had I not thought of that? My head began to pound as I crawled into bed. So I would have to face him again after all.
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    The holiday season came and went in a jolly blur. Our house brimmed over with children, merriment, and amusement. My mother suffered frequent bouts of nerves, and my father often retreated behind the closed doors of his library, but I welcomed the diversion. With Christmastide and Jane’s wedding to occupy our days, I could bury the longing that threatened to overwhelm me at times. And yet, without warning and at the most inopportune moments, a sudden image of Mr. Darcy’s beloved face would flash before me, and it was all I could do to retain control of my emotions. How could I ever think of him as my brother? I dreaded seeing him again, but even so, I yearned for a glimpse of his countenance just once more.
    It did not help that my aunt Gardiner happened upon me all alone one day in the stillroom, whereupon she broached the subject for the first time. Having heard the entire altered version of the story of Lady Catherine’s visit from Mamá, she seemed surprised I had not accepted Mr. Darcy’s offer. She repeated the measure of esteem in which she and Mr. Gardiner held the gentleman. She believed he was a man of honour and would do his best for me.
    “Lizzy, think of the society and privilege your connection would bring. And surely, you cannot have forgotten the splendours of Pemberley! Can you not imagine what pleasure the possibility of a future visit to that great house might afford you? I should think any connection with a family like the Darcys bears merit.”
    I shrugged and tried to change the subject, but she would not relent. “My dear, I think you should reconsider. It is an opportunity not granted to everyone. You should be grateful.”
    “I am grateful, Aunt, but at the same time, I am angry.”
    “Angry? Surely not with Mr. Darcy.”
    I shook my head. “No, no, not with him. I am angry with his—with our father.”
    My aunt looked up quickly. “ Our father? I do not understand.”
    “He did not want me. He sent me as far from Pemberley as possible.”
    Without restraint, I confessed the true story of my birth to my aunt, the woman I had always trusted with all my heart. Throughout my childhood and beyond, I had considered her more of a mother than Mamá. Like a flooded river