tender age of 18? How could she cope with these kinds of pressures? A new husband, a strange neighbour, city life, her lack of English skills, a lack of job, and her feeling of inadequacy when it came to relationships. What did she get herself into?
Valeria's mind changed direction as she wondered if Roberto would show signs of being like her father. Roberto wanted to believe that Luca was his friend and wouldn't lie to him, but he had. She wondered if Roberto was controlling like her father and Luca. They were friends, after all, so maybe they were alike. She already knew that Luca was such a man who craved power and control, and obviously showed no respect for women. She would sympathise with any woman who had Luca as a husband because of his aggressive tendencies.
That evening, Marco and Angela went to bed after the guests had left. Roberto and Valeria followed suit. Valeria entered their small bedroom with its mahogany double bed, dresser, and two matching bedside cabinets. She closed the cream lace curtains and could barely breathe. She walked to the bathroom and locked the door while Roberto started changing near the bed. Valeria noticed Roberto frown as he watched her rush towards the bathroom. She put on a full nightgown with long sleeves, covering her entire body to below the knees. Her hands were shaking as she unlocked the bathroom door, sighed and lifted the bed covers. Roberto was tucked under the covers on his side and stared. Valeria stayed close to her side, lying flat on her back. She turned off her lamp and said goodnight to Roberto. Her heart was racing when she heard Roberto's voice.
“Are you okay?”
Pausing, she said, “Fine. Just tired.”
“So you—aah—you don't—want to—you know—.”
Valeria froze again, unsure of what to say. “I'm tired. Sorry.” The silence was tense for Valeria and she wondered what Roberto was thinking. She remembered a friend of hers back in Italy had spoken to her about sex, but her parents had never spoken to her about it at all. To them, sex was a dirty word and not a natural turn of events.
Valeria's body felt stiff and she felt short of breath. Unable to sleep, she felt tears sting her eyes while thinking about her mother. Was this what her mother had really wanted for her? To sleep with a strange man? Or was it more her father's doing? She missed her mother terribly and wished she could share her life with her in Australia. Valeria cried herself to sleep, uncertain about her new marriage. Could she ever fulfil Roberto's expectations?
Chapter 4
Doubts
One week later, Valeria started English classes. She attended her first class at a centre in Brunswick and learned the alphabet and some conversational phrases. She took home basic English fictional texts to read whilst listening to the book's cassette with a tape recorder. Roberto, Marco, and Angela had started English classes a year ago and were in a more advanced class. They'd lived in Melbourne for two years and had some level of fluency.
After they came back from class, Roberto suggested taking a drive to Little Italy's Lygon Street for an espresso coffee and dessert. The breeze was noticeably cool on that autumn evening in April as Valeria strolled along the strips of restaurants and bars with Roberto, Angelo and Marco. The streets were crowded with Italians muttering in their native tongue. Valeria heard some whistling. She saw three men standing outside a restaurant staring at her. She cringed when she realised she was the object of their attention. Roberto, who was walking alongside her, quickly put his arm around her shoulder. His lingering glare at the men made them turn away rapidly. Roberto smiled at Valeria. She suddenly felt a flutter in her chest, returning the smile. She
Valeria's mind changed direction as she wondered if Roberto would show signs of being like her father. Roberto wanted to believe that Luca was his friend and wouldn't lie to him, but he had. She wondered if Roberto was controlling like her father and Luca. They were friends, after all, so maybe they were alike. She already knew that Luca was such a man who craved power and control, and obviously showed no respect for women. She would sympathise with any woman who had Luca as a husband because of his aggressive tendencies.
That evening, Marco and Angela went to bed after the guests had left. Roberto and Valeria followed suit. Valeria entered their small bedroom with its mahogany double bed, dresser, and two matching bedside cabinets. She closed the cream lace curtains and could barely breathe. She walked to the bathroom and locked the door while Roberto started changing near the bed. Valeria noticed Roberto frown as he watched her rush towards the bathroom. She put on a full nightgown with long sleeves, covering her entire body to below the knees. Her hands were shaking as she unlocked the bathroom door, sighed and lifted the bed covers. Roberto was tucked under the covers on his side and stared. Valeria stayed close to her side, lying flat on her back. She turned off her lamp and said goodnight to Roberto. Her heart was racing when she heard Roberto's voice.
“Are you okay?”
Pausing, she said, “Fine. Just tired.”
“So you—aah—you don't—want to—you know—.”
Valeria froze again, unsure of what to say. “I'm tired. Sorry.” The silence was tense for Valeria and she wondered what Roberto was thinking. She remembered a friend of hers back in Italy had spoken to her about sex, but her parents had never spoken to her about it at all. To them, sex was a dirty word and not a natural turn of events.
Valeria's body felt stiff and she felt short of breath. Unable to sleep, she felt tears sting her eyes while thinking about her mother. Was this what her mother had really wanted for her? To sleep with a strange man? Or was it more her father's doing? She missed her mother terribly and wished she could share her life with her in Australia. Valeria cried herself to sleep, uncertain about her new marriage. Could she ever fulfil Roberto's expectations?
Chapter 4
Doubts
One week later, Valeria started English classes. She attended her first class at a centre in Brunswick and learned the alphabet and some conversational phrases. She took home basic English fictional texts to read whilst listening to the book's cassette with a tape recorder. Roberto, Marco, and Angela had started English classes a year ago and were in a more advanced class. They'd lived in Melbourne for two years and had some level of fluency.
After they came back from class, Roberto suggested taking a drive to Little Italy's Lygon Street for an espresso coffee and dessert. The breeze was noticeably cool on that autumn evening in April as Valeria strolled along the strips of restaurants and bars with Roberto, Angelo and Marco. The streets were crowded with Italians muttering in their native tongue. Valeria heard some whistling. She saw three men standing outside a restaurant staring at her. She cringed when she realised she was the object of their attention. Roberto, who was walking alongside her, quickly put his arm around her shoulder. His lingering glare at the men made them turn away rapidly. Roberto smiled at Valeria. She suddenly felt a flutter in her chest, returning the smile. She
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