A Life Less Ordinary Read Online Free PDF

to advance towards the hamster, just before Master Revels clicked his fingers. The hamster suddenly grew until it was the size of a large dog. Hamsters are cute and cuddly when they’re small, but when they’re large they look alarming. Those teeth are very sharp. The hamster started to advance on the snake, which turned and headed back to the top hat, rearing up and throwing itself back inside. The hamster followed and, a moment later, the hat started to shake as if the two were fighting. To the astonishment of the crowd, Master Revels picked up the hat and put it back on his head as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
    The next few tricks were simpler, but the crowd ate them up and begged for more. He used magic to read minds and predict the future. He used his wand to send me flying through the air with the greatest of ease. He created vast illusions to order, allowing the younger members of the audience to choose the illusions, just to show them that it was no trick. One audience member even wanted an image of a naked girl, so Master Revels created it – with her private parts neatly covered with black CENSORED signs. The audience nearly wet themselves laughing.
    I was starting to understand the subtle magic he was weaving at the same time. The crowd were seeing real magic, yet his magic was convincing them that there was a mundane explanation, no matter how far-fetched. A small boy stood up while I was flying and proclaimed that it was all done with wires. His mother pulled him down, but not quickly enough to save him from the laughter of the crowd. They all believed him and yet they didn’t believe.
    “So,” Master Revels said, finally. “For my second to last trick...I need a volunteer.” He looked over at the boy who had shouted out. “How would you like to be sawn in half?”
    “You bet,” the boy said, scrambling to his feet. “It’s a trick and I will expose you as soon as I see it.”
    I took the boy’s hand as he climbed onto the stage. He was about twelve years old, although I guessed that he hadn’t been through puberty yet as he paid no attention to my costume. He was slightly overweight, with big glasses and a spotty face. I deduced that he was picked on at school, probably for being able to count to eleven without having to take off his shoes. His hand felt greasy and sweaty to the touch and I realised that, despite his brave appearance, the boy was a little nervous.
    “If you will climb into the box, my dear George,” Master Revels said cheerfully, “we can start sawing you in half.”
    The box itself looked rather like a coffin, although it was covered in stars and magical symbols. The boy looked surprised at how Master Revels had known his name, although he then looked down at the badge he was wearing and relaxed. I held his hand as the lid came down, for it was clear that he was growing more than a little nervous. It had been obvious, the moment he opened the box, that there was no hidden compartment, nor was there room for him to pull up his legs.
    “As you can see,” Master Revels continued, “this is a real saw. I normally use it for cutting down trees. Tonight, we are going to use it to cut a boy in half!”
    There was a roar of applause as he started to saw into the box. It looked impressive, even though I knew the trick. The saw went through into the open area – George held my hand tightly as it seemed to go through his body – and then down through the bottom end. Master Revels opened the box and George fell out, seemingly intact.
    “I told you it was a trick,” George thundered. He jumped in the air with delight. “I didn’t feel a thing and...”
    The crowd burst out laughing. George hadn’t realised it, but every time he jumped into the air, his torso literally parted in two. He had been cut in half. The only thing keeping him alive was Master Revels and his magic. George didn’t realise it at all and kept jumping in the air, utterly unable to understand why