A House in Order Read Online Free PDF

during the last two years – though I, of course, could see at once that luck had really nothing to do with it. Total neglect of the stronger plants had let them grow into coverings and windbreaks for the weaker ones: this tendency has been hailed as ‘natural’ by a good number of obsessed idiot-gardeners, who have written whole books encouraging innocent fools to obtain beauty through squalor. I had not thought the day would come when I should be grateful, first, to the barbarous family that had filled this glasshouse with muck, and second, to a war that had allowed so-called nature to prove that absolute neglect is better than half-witted care.
    But I had scarcely had time to enjoy a moment’s contempt and indignation when I was back to my old condition, my heart banging away with the old alarm notesand the shivers coming out all over me. A party of three was coming down the verandah, and after stopping at the top of the steps to exchange a few words, they came on down to inspect me. It was a surprise, but a relief to me, to see that the three were the young officer, the interpreter, and the Colonel himself: true, it is the commissioned officer who orders one’s death, but he hardly ever condescends to break teeth and knock faces into pulp.
    Q : Well! The Colonel would like to know if you think you have obeyed orders. Have you?
    A : I am sure it is not good enough, but I promise I will make it better.
    Q : He asks: Is it absolutely necessary to show cowardice every single minute, and would it be possible for you to stand erect and stop trembling?
    A : Oh, pardon, I will try my very best.
    Q : He suggests that conversation is more agreeable when amiability is mutual?
    A : Pardon, of course.
    Q : He asks: Why that pot there with that plant in it?
    A : It is delicate: the frost will kill it.
    Q : He wonders if you are concealing information in it?
    A : Oh, no, no: it is quite innocent!
    Q : How do you know that frost will kill it?
    A : That is my experience.
    Q : What is your experience?
    A : In a greenhouse.
    Q : Are you not a cartographer at all?
    A : Only for my living. This is where I belong.
    Q : It is not where you belong at all. You have no business here. Don’t you know you should be in that camp with your fellow-beasts?
    A : Yes.
    Q : Why aren’t you?
    A : I think you are protecting me here.
    Q : You realize that, do you?
    A : I think so, yes.
    Q : Why should we want to protect you?
    A : I can’t imagine.
    Q : Do you realize that keeping you here is a great deal of trouble?
    A : Oh, yes, I am deeply grateful.
    Q : Why are you grateful? Wouldn’t you rather be with your own countrymen?
    A : No.
    Q : Why?
    A : I like to be alone. Not in a crowd.
    A : Are you a married man?
    A : No.
    Q : No children?
    A : No.
    Q : Do you ask the Colonel to believe that living alone in a greenhouse is the only life you know?
    A : Oh, I exhibit my plants. Sometimes, I am a judge at shows.
    Q : The Colonel wonders if that can be the whole story. He asks: Wouldn’t it be an impossible coincidence to live perpetually in a greenhouse at peace and find yourself perpetually in another at war? What are you really up to?
    A : I saw the greenhouse when I was left in the garden. I went into it naturally.
    Q : Once more the Colonel pays you the doubtful compliment of believing you. He is a student of character and he cannot believe that you have enough courage to tell a lie.
    A : Oh, say thank you, please.
    Q : Can you stand a little straighter?
    A : Oh, certainly.
    Q : He asks if you realize that at any minute he may have to hand you over?
    A : I suppose so. I will do my best to be quiet and make no trouble. Please, beg him not to send me away.
    Q : He is not very hopeful, but will see how matters develop … He asks if you have everything you want here?
    A : Yes, yes. I can make flower-pots with those magazines.
    Q : You intend to spend the war growing flowers?
    A : If the Colonel will allow me out for an