typed in his cell phone number and e-mail address, and hesitated before clicking the “Make Me Famous!” button.
This is ridiculous. Crazy. This is something Sheila would do. She was spontaneous like that. She asked me out. She held my hand first before I could even get the courage to touch her. She kissed me first. She brought up marriage before I could even grasp the idea of being her boyfriend. Sheila always took the first risk. She was always one step ahead of me.
It’s about time I took the next step. It’s about time I took a risk.
John clicked the “Make Me Famous!” button, and another screen flashed in front of him.
Thank you for submitting your answers. We will contact you if you’ve made the cut.
Right. Average white man hooked up with a Nubian princess. Fat chance.
He smiled at his wedding picture.
Okay, it happened once before.
And it sure would be nice to be happy again.
“Bob, it looks as if we have our Nubian princess and our white man.”
“We do?”
“Well … almost. We just need a few signatures.”
“Tell me about her.”
“Um, she isn’t bad looking for someone her age.”
“How old is she, Larry?”
“Forty.”
“What?”
“She’s forty, but she doesn’t look a day over twenty-nine.”
“You have got to be kidding me!”
“Calm down, Bob. You see—”
“Calm down?” Bob interrupted. “The best we can do is a forty-year-old? We had hundreds apply, and none of them were over thirty! None of them had even the threat of a stretch mark. We’re doomed!”
“African American women age differently, Bob, and this woman is ageless. With a little work, she’ll pass for twenty-five, twenty-eight tops.”
“You just said she doesn’t look a day over twenty-nine.”
“It’s just an expression, Bob. She’s one of the few women I’ve seen who could celebrate her twenty-ninth birthday for many years and people would believe her.”
“How much work will it take to transform her into the demographic we’re trying to reach?”
“Um, well, the works. Hair, nails, eyes, wardrobe, um, cleavage. Perky, but she’s no community chest. She does have a classic look. She’s a cross between Dorothy Dandridge and Diahann Carroll.”
“When they were younger, right?”
“Oh, yes. It’s truly remarkable. She has flawless skin and her body is toned to perfection. Million-dollar smile, long sinewy legs. Definite eye candy, providing we light her carefully. And, she has a college degree, so she’s no bimbo.”
“What else is wrong with her, Larry?”
“Wrong?”
“Bimbos are fun to watch. Bimbos are fun to listen to. So far she’s old and intelligent, and that spells boring and dreary.”
“She has never married and never had any kids, so she shouldn’t have any stretch marks. She’ll look fantastic in a padded bikini. Extremely athletic, former WNBA star, retired eight years ago with all sorts of records, a member of the Hall of Fame.”
“Larry …”
“Um, she’s well-spoken in the clips her publicist sent, five-seven, hazel eyes, and she has a fading cougar cub tattoo on her arm.”
“I won’t ask you again.”
“Okay, she’s … she’s a tad bit religious.”
“Oh no. Not that! How religious is she, Larry?”
“Um, well, she’s of the ‘born-again Christian’ variety. According to her publicist, she’s the most moral, spiritual human being she’s ever met and will probably ever meet in her life.”
“I knew it! Unmarried, hot, and forty, so there had to be something else. Are you sure that she’s not a lesbian? Man, that would sink us for sure. Though it might make for a slam-bang last episode.”
“There was a lingering rumor during her playing days, but a date with Archie Freeman cleared all that up.”
“Archie Freeman? Archie ‘Free Love’ Freeman? She’s no lesbian if she dated that guy. But religious? Oh, man, what did I do to deserve this? We can’t have a Holy Roller on a show that’s supposed to ooze sex. Does she
This is ridiculous. Crazy. This is something Sheila would do. She was spontaneous like that. She asked me out. She held my hand first before I could even get the courage to touch her. She kissed me first. She brought up marriage before I could even grasp the idea of being her boyfriend. Sheila always took the first risk. She was always one step ahead of me.
It’s about time I took the next step. It’s about time I took a risk.
John clicked the “Make Me Famous!” button, and another screen flashed in front of him.
Thank you for submitting your answers. We will contact you if you’ve made the cut.
Right. Average white man hooked up with a Nubian princess. Fat chance.
He smiled at his wedding picture.
Okay, it happened once before.
And it sure would be nice to be happy again.
“Bob, it looks as if we have our Nubian princess and our white man.”
“We do?”
“Well … almost. We just need a few signatures.”
“Tell me about her.”
“Um, she isn’t bad looking for someone her age.”
“How old is she, Larry?”
“Forty.”
“What?”
“She’s forty, but she doesn’t look a day over twenty-nine.”
“You have got to be kidding me!”
“Calm down, Bob. You see—”
“Calm down?” Bob interrupted. “The best we can do is a forty-year-old? We had hundreds apply, and none of them were over thirty! None of them had even the threat of a stretch mark. We’re doomed!”
“African American women age differently, Bob, and this woman is ageless. With a little work, she’ll pass for twenty-five, twenty-eight tops.”
“You just said she doesn’t look a day over twenty-nine.”
“It’s just an expression, Bob. She’s one of the few women I’ve seen who could celebrate her twenty-ninth birthday for many years and people would believe her.”
“How much work will it take to transform her into the demographic we’re trying to reach?”
“Um, well, the works. Hair, nails, eyes, wardrobe, um, cleavage. Perky, but she’s no community chest. She does have a classic look. She’s a cross between Dorothy Dandridge and Diahann Carroll.”
“When they were younger, right?”
“Oh, yes. It’s truly remarkable. She has flawless skin and her body is toned to perfection. Million-dollar smile, long sinewy legs. Definite eye candy, providing we light her carefully. And, she has a college degree, so she’s no bimbo.”
“What else is wrong with her, Larry?”
“Wrong?”
“Bimbos are fun to watch. Bimbos are fun to listen to. So far she’s old and intelligent, and that spells boring and dreary.”
“She has never married and never had any kids, so she shouldn’t have any stretch marks. She’ll look fantastic in a padded bikini. Extremely athletic, former WNBA star, retired eight years ago with all sorts of records, a member of the Hall of Fame.”
“Larry …”
“Um, she’s well-spoken in the clips her publicist sent, five-seven, hazel eyes, and she has a fading cougar cub tattoo on her arm.”
“I won’t ask you again.”
“Okay, she’s … she’s a tad bit religious.”
“Oh no. Not that! How religious is she, Larry?”
“Um, well, she’s of the ‘born-again Christian’ variety. According to her publicist, she’s the most moral, spiritual human being she’s ever met and will probably ever meet in her life.”
“I knew it! Unmarried, hot, and forty, so there had to be something else. Are you sure that she’s not a lesbian? Man, that would sink us for sure. Though it might make for a slam-bang last episode.”
“There was a lingering rumor during her playing days, but a date with Archie Freeman cleared all that up.”
“Archie Freeman? Archie ‘Free Love’ Freeman? She’s no lesbian if she dated that guy. But religious? Oh, man, what did I do to deserve this? We can’t have a Holy Roller on a show that’s supposed to ooze sex. Does she
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