A Fistful of Collars Read Online Free PDF Page B

bad—remained a mystery to me. Sounded pretty bad, yes, but hadn’t I once seen Iggy—
    “And this is Chet,” Bernie said, as they settled on a huge leather couch.
    “Know all about him,” Gronk said. He held out his hand, a real big one. I went over, just to the edge of his reach. He scratched behind my ears. This Gronk dude, whoever he happened to be? A gem, in my book.
    “In fact,” Gronk said, “I’ve followed your career closely—especially since you went private.”
    “Not exactly my choice,” Bernie said.
    “So what? You’re doing great.”
    “What makes you say that?”
    “Read all about that Big Bear case,” Gronk said. “And theelephant thing, down in Mexico? Who else could have pulled that off?”
    “It was mostly Chet,” Bernie said. “But thanks. That’s what I’m here for, actually—to thank you for recommending me to the mayor’s office.”
    “Recommend, hell,” said Gronk. “I made it a stipulation for underwriting the goddamn policy.”
    “I don’t get it,” Bernie said.
    “See, that’s you—your mind’s always on the bigger things.”
    “Huh?”
    “Point is, down here in the money-grubbing world, the mayor’s sinking taxpayer dollars into this movie scheme of his, and the law requires him to insure Valley government against loss. That actor asshole, what’s his name?”
    “Thad Perry.”
    “Looked into his history. Keeping an eye on someone like him requires someone like you, and the only person I know like you is you.”
    So complicated, impossible to follow, but it was clear that Gronk was one of the good guys, so why worry about the details?
    “You haven’t seen me in a long time,” Bernie said. “Maybe I’ve changed.”
    “Feel bad about that,” Gronk said. “Thought about calling you many times when I first came out here. But building something like this, it gets kind of consuming.”
    “That’s not what I meant,” Bernie said.
    “I know what you meant,” Gronk said. “I witnessed you get tested like hardly anybody ever gets tested, and I know what I need to know.”
    “I got lucky that night.”
    “The hell you did,” Gronk said. “How’s the leg?”
    “No complaints,” Bernie said. “What do you think of the mayor’s idea?”
    “Cockamamie,” said Gronk. “Which is good for our balance sheet—we charge extra for cockamamie.”
    Bernie glanced around the office. “I never knew you even wanted to get rich.”
    Gronk laughed. “I never did. That’s the best part.”

FOUR
    N ixon Panero delivered our new wheels in person. Bernie and I had been watching out the window, so we were already outside when he pulled in the driveway.
    “Whaddya think?” said Nixon, getting out and handing the keys to Bernie. Nixon eyed the back of the outside mirror, blew on it, buffed whatever was bothering him with his sleeve. “Turn heads or what?”
    Bernie gazed at our new Porsche. “This, uh, pattern on the front fenders?”
    “The martini glasses?” said Nixon. “Coulda upped the scale—I went back and forth on that. But guess what.”
    “I give up.”
    “I copied them right offa the shirt you were wearing the other day!” Nixon spat out one of those thin brown streams of tobacco juice. I toyed with the idea of licking the damp spot on the pavement and rejected it. “Moment of pure inspiration,” Nixon continued. “Didn’t see the point of running it by you. Knew you’d go for it—woulda bet the ranch.”
    “Where’s the ranch?” Bernie said.
    Nixon’s eyes and mouth opened wide at the same time, one of those human expressions I watch for. What does it mean? Not sure, but I’ve seen all sorts of unexpected things right after, including shouting, tears, and an airborne machete. “Whoa,” said Nixon. “I did bad?”
    Bernie smiled. He has the nicest set of human teeth going, and the implant matches perfectly, in my opinion, no matter what anyone says. “Nah,” he said. “I love it. The constantly getting pulled over part will