A Fairly Honourable Defeat Read Online Free PDF Page B

unjealous Tallis really is. Why should he tell us anything?’
    ‘I know. But he’s so spiritless. And such a muddler.’
    ‘He’s damn tired at the moment is my impression.’
    ‘Tired? Of course he’s tired. He takes on far too much and then he gets confused and overborne. And since Morgan left him he’s begun to go to pieces anyway. He just can’t cope.’
    ‘For us whose lives so pre-eminently work it may be hard to imagine. But I do think you’re a little too down on people who can’t cope, darling!’
    ‘Well, I do think a reasonable amount of efficiency is an aspect of morals. There’s a sort of ordered completeness of life and an intelligent use of one’s talents which is the mark of a man. And Tallis is a peculiarly dangerous example to Peter just at this moment. Tallis never seems to know what he can manage and what he can’t. Having his old papa to live with him is crazy. Then wanting to take on Peter as well. And do you know that Tallis calls Leonard “Daddy”? A grown man who calls his father “Daddy” is really out.’
    ‘Out, Hilda? Out of what?’
    ‘Don’t be so bolshy, Rupert. “Yes, Dad.” “Certainly, Daddy.” Oh, I suppose it’s harmless but it’s somehow a symptom of total ineptitude. Leonard is no fool, you know, though he’s pretty peculiar too in some ways. I think I get on with Leonard now better than I do with Tallis.’
    ‘Leonard was very fond of Morgan.’
    ‘Yes. The break must have been a blow to him. I thought I’d go over there tomorrow. Have you got any matchboxes for Leonard?’
    ‘I’ll look. What are you going to say to Peter?’
    ‘Nothing special. I can do nothing with Peter, dear heart. You know how it is. We both get emotional, and then Peter just withdraws into that awful unfeeling blankness. Oh God!’
    ‘I blame myself—’
    ‘For what? That’s the trouble. For what? What mistake did we make with Peter? You must see him soon again, Rupert, you really must.’
    ‘When I see Peter I find myself play-acting the stern father. It’s not what I feel at all. It’s just mechanical.’
    ‘I know. We’ve both of us been rather mechanized about Peter I’m afraid. We thought if he found Cambridge too luxurious he would automatically enjoy helping Tallis with Jamaicans. But he doesn’t appear to like that either!’
    ‘If only he wanted to go abroad. When I was his age—’
    ‘Yes, yes. I suppose Tallis hadn’t anything new to say when you last saw him? He never has.’
    ‘About Peter? He made one rather cryptic remark. He said Peter wasn’t too strong on the mine and thine front.’
    ‘What on earth does that mean? He can’t mean that Peter steals things?’
    ‘I didn’t pursue the matter. I’d just had a pretty grim half hour with the boy. And a number of black children were screaming in the doorway.’
    ‘Darling, I suspect Tallis really irritates you just as much as he irritates me!’
    ‘He lacks the concept of privacy.’
    ‘Anyway, Tallis always exaggerates. He likes everything to be awful.’
    ‘It’s the characteristic of an unhappy man.’
    ‘Rupert, I think we should ask Tallis over here and discuss the whole matter and make some entirely new plan. Oh damn, we can’t if Morgan’s here.’
    ‘I’m afraid Tallis has just rather lost touch where Peter’s concerned. He used to have some authority over him, but not any longer.’
    ‘The scales have fallen. People get over Tallis. I’m sure Morgan has. Anyway, I wish to God someone would persuade Peter to go back to Cambridge in October!’
    ‘I thought perhaps a talk with Axel might—’
    ‘Yes, I thought of that, but I rather suspect that Peter’s gone off Axel. He used to like him. But recently—And you know how Peter’s never really got on with Simon.’
    ‘The two things may be connected. There’s still a good deal of time, you know, Hilda. And the college is being very decent about it.’
    ‘I know, we mustn’t fret too much. I wonder if Morgan could help