A Disturbing Influence Read Online Free PDF

moment of depression, wondering how many of my parishioners ever understood a word of my sermons, not because they were difficult sermons but because, if Lindy was any guide, they chose to ignore them.
    ‘I shall not require your services any longer in the choir, Lindy. I can’t tell you how disgusted I am by your apparently total lack of moral sense. You, who have been such a useful person in the community, who have done so much for the church, and for me, too. I am very disappointed indeed.’
    Lindy did not say anything at all. She wiped away her perfunctory tears and went home. She had seemed, I thought, basically indifferent to everything I had said. I dare say I wasn’t very impressive that morning, as a matter of fact. But I had more important things on my mind.
    That afternoon, however, I went as I had promised to see Lindy’s mother.
    ‘Hello,’ she said, opening the door.
    ‘I wonder if I might have a few words with you, Mrs Badham.’
    ‘Come in, then, sir.’
    I followed behind the bottom Isobel had thought so unpinchable into a dark parlour, full of old furniture and the smell of disuse. There were lace curtains at the windows.
    ‘It’s about Lindy, I dare say,’ said Mrs Badham, crossing her massive arms.
    ‘Yes, it is.’
    ‘Well?’ She looked formidable indeed.
    ‘I have been obliged to discharge Lindy, Mrs Badham. You may not know that she and Mr Johnson, your lodger, are carrying on an affair together.’
    ‘I know that,’ said Mrs Badham.
    I was taken aback. ‘You know? And you’ve done nothing about it?’
    ‘What should I have done, sir, may I ask?’
    ‘You should have stopped it, Mrs Badham. I am very shocked to hear you speak so calmly about it.’
    ‘Well, sir, I don’t see that I should have stopped it.’
    ‘But Mrs Badham, Lindy is your daughter. What kind of a reputation do you think this will get her? Do you want her to be known as a—as a prostitute?’
    ‘Don’t you say that, now,’ said Mrs Badham. ‘Lindy’s a good girl, and I won’t have anyone using words like that about her. I don’t care who it is.’
    ‘How can you call her good when you know what she’s been doing? It’s a disgrace.’
    ‘Now you listen to me, Vicar.’ Mrs Badham spoke with her usual authority. She emphasized her points by wagging her whole forearm at me. ‘What chance to lead a decent life do you think Lindy has? She’s terrible-looking. None of the boys here would ever look at her, would they? What I say is, this is her one chance, and she’s right to take it.’
    ‘But, Mrs Badham, it’s immoral.’
    ‘Oh, immoral,’ she said with a sweeping gesture. ‘I dare say it is. But there’s a lot worse things going on in the world than Lindy and Bill going to bed together.’
    ‘That may be true in a sense, Mrs Badham, but it’s not the point. Lindy’s behaviour is a disgrace, and you seem to be condoning it. As her mother you should know better.’
    ‘D’you think I want Lindy getting a bad name?’ she said. ‘Of course I don’t. I wouldn’t let her carry on with anyone, you know. Bill’s a good man.’
    ‘But he’s married.’
    ‘So much the better. No one would ever want to marry Lindy, now, would they? There’s no point in giving her false hopes.’
    ‘But what of Mr Johnson’s wife?’
    ‘There’s no reason she should know about it, is there?’
    It was a warning as well as a hint. I continued to argue forseveral minutes, but Mrs Badham was immovable. She was sure she was right, she was not interested in what the world might think, she was scornful that God could disapprove of her. I went away deeply disturbed. There seemed to be no sense of morality in her at all. Isobel had called her ‘morally huge’ but to me she seemed immorally a giantess. Yet, as I thought about it, it seemed to me that in a sense she was unanswerable. If one were to live in a non-Christian morality her position was certainly tenable, and she obviously did live in such a morality. I