A Dirty Shame Read Online Free PDF

under,” I said, dragging my feet a little. “I need to get started on the body. There’s no need to do this now.”
    “What are you, chicken?” Jack asked, making bwakking sounds until I felt the challenge of facing a dare surge through my blood. My feet took the stairs two at a time as Jack came up behind me. I’d never been able to resist a dare.
    “You’re so juvenile,” I said. “You making those ridiculous sounds is not the reason I’m doing this.”
    “Sure it’s not,” he agreed.
    “I’m just trying to appease you so I can get to work.”
    “I’m like an open book to you,” he said with a straight face. “You know me too well.”
    I stopped at the bottom of the third floor stairs and narrowed my eyes at him, but he kept smiling so the one dimple at the corner of his mouth appeared. When had the damned thing become so distracting? Why was I even noticing?
I averted my eyes quickly and instead focused on the stairs. The carpet runner was faded blue with small gold roses and it was a lot skinnier than I remember it being as a child. I hadn’t stepped foot on the third floor since I was a child and had scared myself witless by listening to Jack and Dickie tell ghost stories about it.
    “I’ve been up,” Jack said softly. “There’s nothing there except a few pieces of furniture covered in sheets. I’ll get the guys to help move whatever you need from your house so you can get settled.”
    “That’s good.” My throat had seized and the words barely came out. Jeremy Mooney had broken my voice, the doctors had told me. It would never be the same as it was. I’d never be able to sing badly to Madonna on the radio or scream at football games. But at least I could speak. I swallowed a couple of times and my hand clamped around the stair rail.
    “There’s no need to do this now,” I said. “I’d rather just get to work. It doesn’t matter where I sleep.”
    What I’d left unspoken was that I hardly slept at all—when I did manage to finally nod off, it was from sheer exhaustion, and only for short amounts of time.
    Jack took my hand again and I tensed, but he waited until he felt me relax inch by inch. He pulled me closer until I stood flush with his body and he just waited. Waited as dizziness swept over me and claustrophobia surrounded me. He waited until the fear passed and I was left with nothing but the light and him. I leaned my head against his shoulder and his arms came around me. This time there was no tension at the touch. It was just the two of us.
    “Why won’t you let me help, Jaye? You think I can’t see your terror every time I get close? I can feel you trying to pull away from me and deal with this on your own, but I’m not going to let you. It’s going to take time to heal. For all of you to heal, not just the physical. You almost died.”
    His hands stroked my back in soothing circles and my arms came around him, holding tighter and tighter as I tried to find an anchor for the emotions rioting through my body. Yes, I feared. But I also needed to be held. Hadn’t realized how much I needed it until just now. Warmth and something else infused my body.
    He ducked his head so his lips were against my ear, and I shivered at the touch. “Whether you want to hear it or not,” he said. “I love you. I’m not going to just sit by and watch you wither away.”
    I stiffened in his arms at the mention of the L word. I cared about Jack more than anyone else I’d ever known, including my family. Jack was my family. But there were lots of different kinds of love, and neither of us had a good track record when it came to the emotion. What if I let myself love him and he changed his mind? I’d never had to do without him in my life. Or worse, what if I let myself love him and he was taken from me like Brody had been taken from me?
    “Shh,” he said. “Don’t tense up. I’m not going to push you or pressure you, Jaye. I’m just going to be your friend for now. And I’m