this actually makes me kind of mad. So Iâm mad that heâs mad. Nice, huh? Real mature.
I realize that Iâve been standing here quiet for a long time, with neither of us saying anything at all. Itâs weird. I almost feel guilty about not talking. But he hasnât said anything eitherâwhy is it my responsibility? Why do I have to be the one to start some ridiculous conversation about things that I donât even want to talk about? Come to think of it, thereâs nothing I could say to him right now that wouldnât take us straight back to my yelling and swearing at him again.
I look at him lying there on my bed, lying on his back, with his arm up over his face, his elbow covering his eyes, like heâs trying to take a nap.
I feel a sudden urge to just go over and punch him.
Instead, I gather up my bag, grab my two aluminum bats, and kind of intentionally clank them together so that he can tell Iâm moving around and getting ready to leave. He doesnât budge, doesnât move a single muscle. I decide not to say good-bye; I walk to my bedroom door and go out, slamming it pretty hard; hey, itâs my door!
Third base defense, final thoughts: No matter how well you position yourself in the field, no matter how much you practice and how quick your reflexes, no matter how hard you try, thereâs no way to anticipate whatâs coming your way next. Itâs just the nature of the game; to play is to risk a laser shot or a bad hop or a simple botch job where you take your eye off the ball half a second early. So hereâs the truth: No matter how good you are, no matter how much you love the game, playing the hot corner can humble you. Iâm feeling pretty humble right now.
Day 2
(Wednesday)
Baseball offense: I love the line in the movie Major League where the announcer says of a player, âHe leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair....â Of course, in baseball by âoffenseâ what youâre talking about is hittingâkind of simple really: âSee da ball, hit da ball.â But like everything else, itâs not that easy. Offense in baseball, if you think about it, actually means risking your life: You have a guy who can throw as hard as anybody youâve ever met, standing sixty feet, six inches away. He rockets a hardball, an object with the density of a rock, pretty much at you. We ballplayers call this âfun.â
We won our game yesterday. That makes fifteen in a row. Joe DiMaggio, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, and every other baseball god and legend are smiling down on me right now saying, âKeep it rollinâ, rookie!â
But I havenât been at school for five minutes this morning when I hear a big uproar behind the gym, near the student parking lot where Iâve just parked. Iâm opening the black storage box on the driverâs side of my truck cab when I see three kids running, with another kid following right behind them.
âWhatâs going on?â I ask the kid lagging behind the others, moving as fast as his short legs will carry him.
âThereâs a fight!â he pants excitedly. âSomebodyâs beatinâ up the gay kid.â
Travis! I toss my books in my truck bed and take off running after the others.
When I round the corner, Iâm still fifty feet or so from a circle of what looks like a hundred kids. I canât see inside, but the kids watching are silent. Itâs so quiet that as I run toward the circle, I can hear the sickening sound of a fist smacking into flesh.
I feel a buzz of adrenaline, mixed with a killer dosage of anger and fear. Iâm sure that when I get to the middle of the circle, Iâll see some big, dumb, vicious Neanderthal beating up Travis.
As I get closer, I hear another punch land and the crowd give a soft gasp.
I see the guy throwing punches: Itâs Floyd Ingram, a real quiet guy who finally