conflict in my expression. “Relax. If you don’t like it, we don’t have to do it. That’s what the safe word is for, right? But you won’t know unless you try.”
Reluctantly I nod. He buckles one leg down, smoothing the Velcro on the cuff, making it tight. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. He looks at my breasts and licks his lips. I know he wants to suck on them. I worry he will, and I don’t think I could handle it. They’re so sensitive. The slightest touch tickles, but not in a good way—in a way that makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
He doesn’t touch them. Instead, he slowly enters me, watching my face carefully. The stretch of my entrance draws my attention, then the slide in as he goes deeper. With my leg fastened below and my hands above, I’m free to simply feel. Strange and fascinating and…
I don’t know what my face looks like, but he pauses and asks, “Are you okay?”
I nod, and I’m shocked to realize I am okay. It doesn’t hurt. I feel full, but no pain. Well, except for a few spots on my butt. Just the thought of the belt against my skin sends a shiver down my spine.
And for the first time, I feel connected. Nick and I have always been best friends, partners, and I know he loves me. But right now, I can feel it. A part of him is inside me, and it’s…good. Better than good. Warmth radiates out and reaches my clit. I finally understand the term “making love.” He moves inside me, and I smile.
We are one—linked together in such an intimate way it makes me tremble with emotion. But for once, I don’t want to cry because I’m frustrated or guilty or in pain. I want to cry because I’ve never felt so close to someone. To my husband.
How could I have been missing something this big and not known it?
Chapter Six
Mindlessly I man the cash register the next day. I’m in a daze, ringing up purchase after purchase, my only break at lunchtime. The clock says three o’clock. I can’t believe I’ve been here seven hours. It feels like only fifteen minutes. My mind has been replaying last night over and over, and I’ve had trouble keeping a grin off my face. Earlier Dale asked why I seemed so perky today. Normally, I don’t do perky. I told him it must be holiday cheer. Only one month until Christmas. The Big O would make an excellent Christmas present.
I didn’t orgasm last night, but I still consider it a success. I had a taste of BDSM, and I want more. Lots more. I’m especially curious about the pain. Though the belt stung, I could tell he was holding back. The small burn faded almost instantly. For some reason, I’m hit with the disturbing urge to find out just how much pain I can take. My smile fades. There must be something wrong with me.
No, I’m not going to get into self-doubt now. Not until I bask in the glow a little while longer. Nick seemed more comfortable than I would’ve guessed. He tied me up. He spanked me. He took control. And I think he enjoyed it.
I ring up the last customer in line and send her on her way. There are only a few browsers in the store. I look left, then right before discreetly sliding my phone out of my pocket. Something is making me brave, though I can’t say what for sure. Holiday cheer? I text Nick.
I want more of last night. This time don’t be such a wimp with the belt. You hit like a girl.
Let’s see what he makes of that. I grin at my audacity. He doesn’t respond for quite a while, and I worry I’ve gone too far. Half an hour later, my text alert beeps.
A girl, huh? We’ll see. Just remember you asked for it.
A thrill of excitement races down my spine. I’m sexting. I’m thirty years old, and I’m sexting dirty thoughts like a hormonal teenager. Marco gives me a look when I giggle out loud.
Marco! I blanch, then tuck my phone away guiltily. For the rest of my shift, I ignore the anticipation lodged deep in my gut and focus on my work instead.
* * * *
At dinner that night, we talk about work and
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley