20 Takedown Twenty Read Online Free PDF

partially obscuring her eye. She was wearing red patent-leather stiletto heels and a little red dress that showed a lot of cleavage and a lot of leg, and had a lot of spandex in it.
    “Rita Raguzzi?” I asked.
    “Yeah, and unless you want to buy or sell a house I haven’t got time. I’m late for a showing.”
    I gave her my card. “I’m looking for Sunny.”
    “Stephanie Plum. I thought I recognized you. Aren’t you engaged to Joe Morelli?”
    “Not exactly. Are you engaged to Sunny?”
    “Not exactly.”
    “So we have something in common.”
    She did a fast scan of my jeans and sneakers and crappy car at the curb. “The only thing we have in common is an interest in Salvatore Sunucchi. And our interests aren’t compatible. You want to lock him up, and I want to lock him down.”
    “Lock him down?”
    “Marriage, stupid.” Raguzzi narrowed her eyes at me. “I’ve got a ten-year investment in this goat, and
nothing
is going to stand between me and his offshore bank accounts and Trenton real estate. I’m a fraction of an inch away from a ring on my finger.”
    “Won’t he want a pre-nup?”
    “You get a pre-nup in case of divorce. I’m not planning on a divorce. I’m planning on being a widow.”
    “You mean because he’s older than you?”
    “I mean because he has a bad heart. I figure all I have to do is load him up with Viagra and invite a friend over for a threesome.”
    “I didn’t know he had a bad heart.”
    “Yeah, he could go at any minute, so back off, because hanging out while Sunny sits in jail and maybe croaks isn’t going to work for me.”
    “He’s not going to sit in jail and croak. I’ll take him in, he’ll get bonded out again, and you can get married while he waits for his court date to come around.”
    “He was lucky to get bonded out the first time. The judge who set the bond is on vacation and, due to a large windfall of cash, might never come back, and Sunny might not have so much luck at getting another sympathetic judge.”
    “Hard to believe,” I said.
    She shrugged. “It’s a crapshoot.”
    I looked over her shoulder, into the house. “I don’t suppose he’s here.”
    “No. And it’s a good thing, because if he was here and you tried to apprehend him, I might panic over the home invasion and accidentally empty a clip into you.”
    “Then
you
would be in jail.”
    “Only if they found your body. And the probability would be slim to none.”
    I believed her. Sunny was good at making people disappear.
    “Okey dokey,” I said. “Good talk. You have my card. I get paid dead or alive, so if Sunny drops dead from whatever, I’d appreciate a call.”
    “Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that. You’ll be next in line, right after my dog groomer.”
    Lula was already in the car when I slid behind the wheel.
    “Well?” she asked.
    “I don’t think she’s going to be helpful.”
    “I looked in all the windows, and I didn’t see no sign of Sunny. She got a nice house, though. Everything looked new and neat. I bet she got a cleaning lady.”
    I put the car in gear and headed for the office.
    “I sure would like a cleaning lady,” Lula said. “Wouldn’t you like to have a cleaning lady?”
    I have a small one-bedroom, one-bath apartment I share with a hamster. I have the bare minimum in furniture, one fry pan, one pot, and once a month I borrow my mother’s vacuum cleaner. I suspect a cleaning lady would be overkill.
    “You know what the first thing I’d have a cleaning lady do?” Lula said. “Baseboards. I hate doing baseboards. Most people would probably say they wanted the cleaning lady to do the toilet, but not me. It’d be baseboards.”
    I wasn’t sure if my apartment even
had
baseboards. “I don’t spend a lot of time in my apartment.”
    “Yeah, but when you’re there you want it to be your favorite spot, right? It has to reflect your personality. Like, wall treatment is important. It gotta put you in a good mood. That’s whymy walls are